Bah, humbug.

[ecosophia]

 Is it just me, or is the holiday music this year even more vomitous than usual? Every time I go into a store these days, there's some chirpy vocalist (who wouldn't recognize a one-horse open sleigh if it ran her down) simpering about sleigh rides, followed by a choir dipped in sugar syrup caterwauling about an animated snowman in tones that make me dream of blowtorches, followed by -- well, you get the point. Here in Rhode Island, at least, all the older Christmas music seems to have been banished, presumably because its religious content might offend somebody. Um, folks, I'm a Druid, okay? I'd still rather listen to "O Holy Night" and "The First Noel" than to the kind of stickily sweet glurge that's being spattered from the loudspeakers this year. 

Thinking about the difference between the Christmas melodies I appreciate and the ones that make me want to physically tear sound systems apart with my bare hands, I notice a distinct difference in the sound. I may just have to break out my books on Renaissance Pythagorean music theory and see if I can identify a consistent pattern. In the meantime, a merry "Bah, humbug!" to all, and to all composers of holiday glurge, a sound thrashing with one of Krampus' birch rods! 

Comments

Insipid Xmas "Music"

[malanlewis]

Agreed.

Though I rarely go in stores, so I'm rarely (not all this season) exposed to the audio filth. Farmers Market is outdoors, with sometimes live music, which is OK. The Gray Bears Thrift Store plays no music at all. That's about it.

Maybe I'll go to a local store and sample the audio quality.

Then again, maybe not.

[(Anonymous)]

My favorite Christmas carols are Deck the Halls and The Holly and the Ivy, because they're Yule songs in disguise (not really even much of a disguise).

[(Anonymous)]

And the fact that we don't hear those carols either makes me think that the lack of older carols isn't due to aversion to religious songs, but rather something else. What else, I'm not sure....

aching ears

[(Anonymous)]

Add to that the cacophony when walking through a department store in which the overall sound system plays the Holiday Music but the teen boutique has some pop music blaring.

Rita

no it's true

[(Anonymous)]

I've been doing my best to avoid shopping during mercury retrograde, but when I do go into a store and hear the audio torture I simultaneously pity the poor staff but also fear for their sanity. How many cases of substance abuse and domestic violence might be connected to high fructose sound syrup? We might never know, but I imagine if someone is already on the edge it's not exactly the kind of influence that's going to bring them back to a more stable outlook.

Re: no it's true

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed on all points - and I am now adding "high fructose sound syrup" to my lexicon.

[(Anonymous)]

You might just be noticing the absurd levels for dynamic compression (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dynamic_range_compression) that is applied to everything nowadays. It turns anything musical (trash or treasure) into a impenetrable wall of noise.

Seems to be part of the modern trend of replacing silence is golden with silence is verboten.

[(Anonymous)]

I've been noticing the same trend in holiday aesthetics this year, and not just in the music, either. The wrapping paper designs have been particularly garish and terrible, even more so than in previous years. Oh well. Time to break out the musical instruments and the art supplies, I guess. If you want something done right... :)

Christmas music

[(Anonymous)]

I think meditation makes one more sensitive to all this piped-in noise that is supposed to cheer us up and make us want to shop. NPR has gotten especially bad about adding little musical tracks over, above, in between and behind the usual announcements and news items. Ick! Ick! Ick!

"merry xmas"

[(Anonymous)]

You might be heartened by our local food co-op' policy that no
'Christmas Musick' can be played in the stores here during the 'season'.
Makes for a lot of smiling faces.
Jim of Olym
Long time lurker, infrequent poster

[jjensenii]

I've likely been spared the worst of it thanks to living in the Deep South, where songs about Jesus are always on the menu. Nevertheless, I've noticed something similar. What strikes me is how utterly forgettable and generic the songs are. The music sounds like a bad imitation of "Jingle Bell Rock" and replace "Christmas" with any other holiday in the lyrics and you'd never notice the difference.

Besides, there are plenty of good non-religious Christmas songs. Why this trash? (Oh, wait. Those songs are—shudder—old.)

[auntlili]

OMG no, it's not just you. I had to sit in a bank twice last week trying to sort out online services. This took a total of 75 minutes of my life that I will never get back. But the absolute worst part of it was the insipid Christmas songs. Same ones, both days: saccharine, fraught with synthetic cheer and completely unrecognizable. I actually told my mother, who was with me, that the music had put paid to whatever Christmas spirit I was feeling. And yes, I was having violent fantasies about throwing paperweights at the sound system and knocking over the artificial tree. That music should be called Instagrinch, because that's the effect it produces. Too bad the Harry Potter earmuffs that block out sound completely are not an actual thing or I'd send a pair for your stocking. Anyway, hope things are merry and bright where you are, musical violence notwithstanding.

[dufu]

I recently heard the worst thing ever: a soulless cover of "Do They Know It's Christmas At All." Keep in mind that the original song was musical grift -- soliciting food donations that rotted on the ports of African cities for lack of a distribution mechanism, while people starved inland. The cover version was just some woman singing it to avoid all the celebrity royalties. I'm not Christian by any means but I'll be glad if all the stores close and we return to hymns.

[lunchboxbike]

Music is a drug delivery system through the ears. Stores have a few basic motives for which drug they choose, such as calming a mob and rushing shoppers out when they're done spending, but they are limited by what drugs they can get. Music copyright and licensing is big business. The countermeasure I thought of a few minutes ago is loudly singing an antidote. The more common countermeasure is a phone that can play music.

[oakmouse]

I've found that Donner's solo from Das Rheingold is a really effective countermeasure. Gets rid of earworms, too.

Of course, if you belt it out too loudly in the store you might get turfed out, but at this season of the year that's more of a mercy than otherwise.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel your pain! It's almost worth wearing earplugs when you have to go out. I get particularly bored with the relentless pounding of 4/4 time - as though there were no other time signatures worth playing. I did my Christmas shopping in about three hours one day, and would happily fast until the new year, just to avoid having to go into any more stores. Not sure if the kids would be fully on board with that plan though...

Here's a song you may like, one of the songs our 'praise team' is singing (and drumming) for church this Christmas. I think it brings a good spirit through. And in our case, maybe a few different spirits, including some African ones!

https://youtu.be/XG347euXoTM

A happy Solstice and Christmas to you and your family. Hopefully you will have no further cause to enter a store until at least January 2nd.

Stefania

Exmass Music Sucks

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, holiday "music" blows chunks everywhere in the US, not just Rhode Island. Christmas music was always simple and childish (not always in a bad way) but modern commercialism made it far more insufferable. I used to make jokes about Christmas music and how it made me want to either slash my wrists and go jogging or commit seppuku with a butter knife. Once I wrote an alternate lyric about killing myself to the tune of Paul McCartney's Wonderful Christmastime and being forced to go to Christmas music hell in the form of a shopping mall where there was no escape from hearing Madonna's whiny version of Santa Baby 24/7. I'm not suicidal BTW; I just have a dark sense of humor. Consistent formula? Sure -- keep it down to two or three basic major chord progressions, for instance I-IV-V-I or I-vi-IV-V, begin it with the chorus because that's the hook and you can't even make them wait 10 seconds for it, and generally make it sound like a mind control exercise in the form of an ad as you pound that innocuous chorus into their brains.

Anyway, wishing you and yours a beautiful, contemplative Solstice. Thank you for sharing your brilliant mind. I spent the morning meditating on the positives and negatives of the four elements. You are a positive influence for many and have genuinely influenced me to change my life for the better.

[(Anonymous)]

Heathens' greetings! As my work is home based and the family isn't all that concerned about taking part in the seasonal festivities of shop til you drop, I gladly do not have to encounter this kind of nonsense too often.

A happy winter solstice to all!

[(Anonymous)]

I've managed to avoid shopping malls so far this year. Luckily a member of my choir makes up beautiful mixed CD's with various traditional seasonal music sourced from the lesser known corners of the music world. I particularly enjoy "Penny for the Ploughboy" by Nowell Sing We Clear. You can find them online.

[(Anonymous)]

... and a Grand Happy Festivus to you too John Michael : )

[ogam]

Oh, no: you and Herself are not by any means alone in your impression.

[(Anonymous)]

Oddly enough, just before i read this post, I was thinking about the fact that I have not heard ANY Christmas music anywhere I have been this season....not in stores or other places of business, not on the radio, nothing! While I usually find it quite irritating, and am glad when it stops, this lack of any actually feel slightly weird, uneasy.

[(Anonymous)]

Here in Germany, there was some christmas music, too, in some stores and on the Christmas market in the inner city of where I live. The music was a bit insipid, too, but in recent years it has fallen more or less out of use. This year, there is not much of Christmas music, not even in the mall in the center of our city, except sometimes at special occasions, when the lights on the big christmas tree in the mall blinks in tact to the music.

Happy holidays!

Booklover

Bah Humbug

[(Anonymous)]

Sentiments of my own heart!!!
Sir, you have put into words so elegantly ehat I feel the Christmas season New Year's too for that matter. Herding of the cattle to shop till they drop for worthless crap while being bombarded and tortured with nauseating music.
I'm glad I'm not alone in my disgust.

Too much

[anna_mundi]

I spent an hour in Walmart recently, and I heard "Santa Baby" no fewer than four times. I was ready to raid the gun section and shoot the speakers out.

"Christmas" music? It's ADVENT (until the 25th).

[(Anonymous)]

As if we needed any further indication that it's all about the shopping, note that the Christ-Mass season begins on Dec. 25. Before that, we have four weeks of Advent (a time of weary anticipation of the Messiah). But even at the "Contemporary Christian" music station that we used to listen to, the "Christmas" play-list goes back on the shelf for another 11 months as of Dec. 26. In the church, however, we will be singing Christmas songs tomorrow, which helps emphasize the distinction between our popular and faith-oriented cultures.

Sometimes I think that sincere Christianity is just as far out of the mainstream culture as Druidry is, and just as likely to hold surprises as it becomes more relevant to a post-peak civilization.

(BTW: This site's spell-checker thinks that there's something wrong about "Druidry"! ;-) )

(Insert joke about computerized checking of Druid spells...)