Do You Fear What I Fear?

[ecosophia]

Had to do more shopping yesterday and today, and so inevitably got spattered by holiday music dripping out of the loudspeakers. As an answer of sorts to the glurge, I present a jaundiced holiday song of my own. It's sung to the tune of a familiar holiday ditty...

Said the night-gaunt to the little dhole
"Do you fear what I fear?
Lurking in the night, little dhole,
Do you fear what I fear?
A voice, a voice, rising from the sea
And it sounds like 'Tekeli-li!' 
It sounds like 'Tekeli-li!'"

Said the little dhole to Nyarlathotep,
"Do you flee what I flee?
Herald of the dark Great Old Ones,
Do you flee what I flee?
A form, a form, hideous and dread,
With an octopus for a head,
With an octopus for a head."

Said Nyarlathotep to the Great Old One,
"Do you know what I know?
In your palace damp, Great Old One,
Do you know what I know?
A cult, a cult, chanting to the deep,
They will wake the Old Ones from sleep,
They will wake the Old Ones from sleep."

Said the Great Old One to the human race,
"I am Great Cthulhu!
Quake with fear, puny human race,
I am Great Cthulhu!
A time, a time, when the stars are right
I will plunge this world into night, 
I will plunge this world into night!"

Note 1: For best effect, this should be sung in one of those very oleaginous male crooner voices, with a backup chorus and a mildly overwrought orchestra. The results are far more eldritch and hideous than anything you'd hear in R'lyeh or lost Carcosa. 

Note 2; Yes, I know the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society has a different version, which they've put into their excellent bundles of Cthulhoid solstice carols. I came up with my version before I encountered theirs, and with all due respect, I think mine is better. 

And on that rugose, squamous note, I wish you all a Krampustide unblighted by ghastly Christmas music...

Comments

Yes!

[(Anonymous)]

Just sang this to myself and it is solid gold. I'll be sharing this with my Cthulhu-loving friends!

- Tim

[(Anonymous)]

This is inspiring! Here's another take-off:

Christmas time, are you buying?
To the stores are you flying?
To spend unafraid
What can't be repaid,
Shopping in a credit wonderland!

In the market we hope for a bubble
Making the economy rebound.
Up to now there's been a lot of trouble
As all our stocks go down and down and down.

And your hopes, they expire;
Can't afford what you desire.
You'll face all afraid
The wreckage you've made,
Shopping in this Christmas credit land.

-- Robert Mathiesen

[(Anonymous)]

Do you happen to have a copy of the HP Lovecraft Historical Society's Solstice Carols?

They did a whole album on the concept.

[ecosophia]

Yes, and in fact I noted that in one of the two notes at the bottom. Some of their carols are great -- I'm a particular fan of "I'm Dreaming of a Dead City" -- but as I commented, I like my version of "Do You Fear What I Fear?" better than theirs.

H.P Lovecraft

[(Anonymous)]

Lovecraft would be proud, JMG. Thank you for sharing

Mac

[(Anonymous)]

I won’t say you’re giving the Grouch of Hamburg a run for his money, but it’s a start! I love and sympathize with his bitter essay about the mindless cracking of whips and other annoying & unnecessary noises.

Kevin

P.S. - Please disregard the prior attempted version of this post with its ungrammatical omission of a word.

[(Anonymous)]

Did I say Hamburg? Augh! I meant Frankfurt. I have a friend in Hamburg and he’s extremely kind, not grouchy at all!

Kevin

[avalonautumn]

Ah... your last few posts here brought a much needed smile to my face. Thank you!

[(Anonymous)]

Fantastic lyrics. So great, like it's supposed to be JUST like that.