Frugal Friday

[ecosophia]

Welcome back to Frugal Friday!  This is a weekly forum post to encourage people to share tips on saving money, especially but not only by doing stuff yourself. A new post will be going up every Friday, and will remain active until the next one goes up. Contributions will be moderated, of course, and I have some simple rules to offer, which have changed as we've proceeded. (As things have settled down to a nice steady conversational pace, for example, I've deleted the rules about only one tip per person per week and about limiting the length of comments; I was worried early on about people flooding the forum with too much too fast, but I think we're past that risk.)

Rule #1:  this is a place for polite, friendly conversations about how to save money in difficult times. It's not a place to post news, views, rants, or emotional outbursts about the reasons why the times are difficult and saving money is necessary. Nor is it a place to use a money saving tip to smuggle in news, views, etc.  I have a delete button and I'm not afraid to use it.

Rule #2:  this is not a place for you to sell goods or services, period. Here again, I have a delete button and I'm not afraid to use it.

Rule #3:  please give your tip a heading that explains briefly what it's about.  Homemade Chicken Soup, Garden Containers, Cheap Attic Insulation, and Vinegar Cleans Windows are good examples of headings. That way people can find the things that are relevant for them. If you don't put a heading on your tip it will be deleted.

Rule #4: don't post anything that would amount to advocating criminal activity. Any such suggestions will not be put through.

With that said, have at it!

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Yesterday we received some positive news, and what better place to share it then an anonymous forum. My wife is pregnant!

While we are still in the very early stages and some early hurdles to cross I am wondering if any commenters have any ideas, advice, or books to share relating to frugality.

Right now, we plan to inherit quite a bit from her sister who has a 1 year old and relying on used things but as I am sure many here can imagine my mind is swimming when it comes to thinking about all this change!

[ecosophia]

Congratulations!

You might see if there's a local cloth diaper service. Those can be competitive with disposable diapers, and they're a lot easier on the environment.

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you! I had never even considered that before, it looks like there are some around my area I can add to the investigation list.

Cloth Diaper recommendations

[(Anonymous)]

We just finished using cloth diapers; week three with only training pants! :)

We used disposable newborn diapers, then size one fitted diapers with size one covers for the first few months, then due to surgery switched to disposables, then finally went to one-size pocket diapers with cotton pre-folds wrapped around bamboo boosters as inserts. I didn't use a service and laundered all the diapers myself.

If I were to do it again I would use flats with hook and loop sized covers. This is due to ease of laundering. Flats are just a large fabric square and the hook and loop sized diaper covers don't have the second layer of TPU that snaps require. It is significantly easier to get soiling out of a single layer of fabric.

The covers are reusable (usually 3-4 changes) so you should be able to get away with only 3-4 for each size and 36 should be a good starting number for flats. Thirsties makes good diaper covers, Osocosy is a affordable brand for flats, pre-folds, or fitted diapers, and Snappi is considered to be the best fastener for flats or pre-folds (but if you're willing to add plastic snaps to the flats, I think those are the best.)

As for laundry routine I suggest a 5 gallon bucket with a screw on lid and a hand held shower head on a extra long shower hose. Add detergent to the bucket and fill half full with hot water. Rinse each newly dirty diaper out in the tub and add them to the bucket. Don't forget to screw the lid back on with enough force that the baby can't get it off. When the bucket is full or every second day empty the water into the tub, rinse again if there is a strong odor, and wash in the machine. Pre-treated diapers can be washed with other laundry. Covers can be washed in the machine, but should be hung to dry out of direct sunlight.

If staining is an issue I suggest getting a small hand held wash board (the kind that hooks around your thumb) and scrub the area with soap before adding it to the bucket.

When diaper rash happens don't use a cream or paste because it will "waterproof" the flats. What I have done is use provodone-iodine in a spray bottle and just sprayed the red areas. It seems more effective that using zinc creams and has the added benefit of washing out of fabrics easily.

Laundry detergent choice matters, but I've found that the unscented Kirkland brand detergents liquid or powder work well and have no long term build up issues. This home-made detergent recipe is also diaper safe:

https://www.budget101.com/do-it-yourself/3993-original-moms-super-laundry-sauce-laundry-soap-recipe/

wool diaper covers

[mskrieger]

Seconding everyone else who suggested cloth diapers. Way cheaper than disposables (I washed them at home in a high efficiency washer.)

What I haven't seen anyone mention yet is wool diaper covers. In the winter, we used these a lot. You have to learn how to take care of them--wash by hand, re-lanolinize occasionally--but they don't need washing that often, and they are super warm if you live in a cold climate. We purchased a bunch of long legged wool covers made of old sweaters lined with felt from someone off Etsy, and my middle daughter essentially lived in them every winter the first two years of her life.

--Ms. Krieger

[claire_58]

Congratulations!!

Tell your friends and family to please skip the plastic toys and give them a list of practical items you need. Make providing this list a habit; remind them of your preferences every gift-giving season.
I've seen many young families up to their ankles in plastic shi--uh--merchandize, while they struggle to keep the children in boots and cold weather gear. Ask for donations and and suggest that contributions to the big ticket items would be appreciated.

[methylethyl]

Amen! We found most things we needed quite easy to get secondhand for deeply discounted prices. There were always a few things, like good quality practical shoes and storybooks that didn't make us want to gouge our eyes out after five readings, that were consistently hard to find that way (always ten pairs of light-up glitter boots and eight copies of "licensed toy marketing adventures with anthropomorphic trucks" and never a pair of toddler moccasins or a copy of "Down the Back of the Chair"). That's the time to be really, really specific with any grandparents and aunties who want Christmas suggestions. Give them a size and a picture and a link to the online store. Online wishlists are helpful. Not to push on everybody, but, you know, when they ask for suggestions. It's way better than getting the battery-powered light-up guitar toy that goes off for no apparent reason at 2am.

[prayergardens]

Congratulations! What a blessing. If it floats your boat, consider adding your family to the prayer list. :)

Being on the hand-me-down train is wonderful. My guess is you'll get about everything you need from there. A few extras that helped us along the way: Craigslist (where we got cribs and strollers), Once upon a Child (decent resale chain for the odd thing you can't get via hand-me-down. We still get winter coats there every year). For crib, we used a used pack and play the first year and it was fine.

I also got reusable cloth diapers via Ebay but I remember the bidding to be a bit nuts. I liked the outer shells with snaps that you could insert pads into and got quite a few of those.

The one thing someone told me that I as SO GLAD I did was get extra sheets for the crib AND your bed ahead of time. Babies are messy and there will be a night where the vomiting doesn't stop and you will be too tired to do laundry. And yep, one night we went through all three sheet sets on our bed and threw sleeping bags down to cover the mattress.

The only thing we shelled out money for that as new and I thought was expensive was a good thermometer that rolls across the forehead. No matter what your medical philosophy is knowing the different between a 100 degree fever and a 105 degree fever is useful knowledge and it's hard to tell at 3am with your hand or a thermometer that's hard to read.

Babies need very little and there's a whole industry trying to wear you down and take your money and they will pull all the marketing tricks and play on your emotions. Stay strong.

I only give one piece of unsolicited advice to new parents and only because it was so hard to find and gave us back hours (and hours and hours, really) of sleep a night. One night, in desperation, I googled "how to get baby to stop crying" and on like page 10 I found an old Oprah interview with an Opera singer who said she could tell what babies needed by their cry. I tried it and it 100% worked for us and we started sleeping again. I ended up being able to hear babies at the grocery store aisles over and know what they needed. (I never approached anyone in public! I just write it on internet forums and tell people I know in person).If you're interested: https://www.oprah.com/own-oprahshow/a-woman-unlocks-the-secret-language-of-babies

All the best to you and your wife. It's a great ride.

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you for the comment! I am very intrigued with the singing and the rest is useful of course.

It is very early of course but I definitely will look to add myself to the prayer list. Which means ill need to sign in properly when I comment. I always forget!

[(Anonymous)]

Best hack I was ever given: make your bed, then make it again right over the top with a waterproof protector between. Do it a third time, if your sheets stretch that far. Then you don’t even have to fetch the clean stuff from the closet in the middle of the night, just strip the dirty stuff and get back in bed.

[(Anonymous)]

Congratulations. If anyone in your household sews, the older patterns for baby clothes have easy to make long gowns which are the most comfortable and convenient baby garments imaginable. To change baby, simply lift up the gown and proceed. Save the monkey suit jumpsuits for visits to relatives, if you must use them at all. I always thought those monkey suits must be uncomfortable for baby, legs having to be pulled out and then reinserted for changing. Another useful thing is a changing pad, to be placed under a brand new baby, to protect sheets, or a parent's lap.

There was once research to the effect that surrounding baby with bright colors was helpful for mental development. I did that, and I do believe it does help. Now baby fashions are back to sentimental blandness.

[teresa_from_hershey]

Congratulations!

Ask for practical stuff like diapers, hand-me-downs, and most of all, services like vacuuming, laundry, shopping, or errands.

Keep a list. Most people have no imagination so when they say, "what do you need," you're ready.

If you're given useless, NEW baby stuff (like Diaper Genies, one of the more idiotic items) see if you can exchange it at the store for stuff you'll use like disposable diapers for traveling and emergencies.

On the topic of disposable diapers: they can be incredibly useful. That said, in my experience store brand works as well as name brand but costs less and you get more diapers.

The other super-useful gift is money. You know what you need to spend it on.

What babies really need is plenty of time with mom and dad.

[methylethyl]

Congratulations!

If it's your first kid, one of the main things you'll learn over the next 8-12 months is how very little of all that "totally essential baby gear!!" you actually need. Talk to other parents you know-- especially parents of more than one kid. Ask them which things they got at the baby shower that turned out to be useful enough that they still wanted one for the second, third, fourth kid. It should give you some perspective on the bewildering array of *stuff* out there.

Those answers will be different for everyone, and a lot depends on your lifestyle, and your baby (they're all different). If you have a car, you legally have to have an infant car seat. Most everything else is negotiable.

The biggest way to save money on baby stuff, is to very carefully consider: do we actually need one of those? And if the answer is yes, as it will be for a few things, then the next question is: can I get one secondhand? The thing about baby stuff is that people are constantly getting rid of it when the kid is no longer a baby. You can pay $$$ for a very fashionable diaper bag... but we just used my old college backpack for all three kids and it was fine. Most baby gear is like that.

It's a good idea to scope out childrens' consignment shops in your area.

Note: there are many, many electronic-noise baby toys out there that are loud enough to damage your child's hearing, if they get close to the baby's head. There's basically no regulation on that. I reckon we saved not only our kids' hearing, but also wads of cash and our sanity, by simply eliminating battery-requiring toys from our house with extreme prejudice. That didn't stop friends and family from pushing them on us, but we would literally open the present, and then immediately get the screwdriver out and remove the batteries, while they were watching, and before the kids could play with it. Most of them got the idea after a couple of years, and they do not get my kids electronic toys... OR if they just couldn't resist (it can be surprisingly hard to find a toy firetruck that *doesn't* light up and go weeeeoooo weeeeoooo), they remove the batteries themselves!

baby etc

[(Anonymous)]

Firstly congratulations. In addition to cloth nappies, we found one of the small things that made a massive difference with our daughter was using elimination communication. We started from very early and had great success using that method. You still have messes but we got to toilet trained quicker and easier than the modern alternative and less issues like rashes etc. The book we used to guide us was "infant potty training" by Laurie bouke.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infant_Potty_Training

Mr Kemble

[(Anonymous)]

Congratulations!

I'd recommend breastfeeding amongst what others have said, although it's a very personal choice which works for some mothers but not others. I found it easier and cheaper than all the feeding stuff once you get the hang of it. Lovely for bonding and an absolute lifesaver when they get sick, soothing and all the antibodies that are transferred really make a difference to frequency and severity of bugs.

Probably cheaper than formula but mothers need to eat more so hard to say how it evens out.

pacifiers

[randomactsofkarmasc]

I know there is disagreement about whether or not to use pacifiers. If you decide to use pacifiers, there are some that are designed to help the palate form properly. (Rather than being round bulbs on the end, they are sort of flattened on the underside.) I haven't bought a pacifier in 25 years, but back when I did buy them, they were a little more expensive than regular pacifiers. The money savings came later... a well-formed palate encourages teeth to grow straight. Both me and my husband wore braces in our youth. Our daughter has incredibly straight teeth and did not need any orthodontic work at all.

[(Anonymous)]

Other things:

Olive oil is great to clean and coat baby skin, I had some in a plastic bottle with a tip, something from teh ktichen area of the store, and I would keep this by the changing table. It cleans off and moisturizes. I did not use petroleum baby oil or the expensive stuff, I used olive oil. Other oils will work.

I cut regular washcloths into 4ths, and hemmed the cut edges. I kept these by the changing area with 2 plastic squeeze bottles with tips, on for water, one for oil. Clean bottom first with water, then oil, you will be surprised that the oil pulls more off of what you thought was a clean bottom after a BM, so then you dont get diaper rash. FOr sensitive babies, or if it is realy cold, put warm water onto the washclothe, and this cleans poop better too, so run the water in the sink until warm.

I liked keeping baby next to our bed for longer, as it was easier on me, so I never realy used a crib. I used a cradle then a toddler bad or small futon next to my bed when they outgrew the cradle ( a "side sleeper" can take the palve of a cradle)

It is nice to have a pace to change the baby, but it does not need to be fancy or store bought. Any low height table or dresser will do, I build a very simple wooden surface that held securely onto my treadle sewing machine top, it just went over the top to make a flat surface, with a few pieces screwed into the bottom so it would not shift or slide off the sewing machine top. You might use a dresser top. You can sew a little padded area and sew little washable covers even, or sew more than one pad. It can be simple, like an extremely small quilt and then can be washed.

The point is there is alot of marketing, but you dont need to buy much.

Atmospheric River

[jenniferkobernik]

Congratulations! My advice (unless you don’t have a car) is to really angle to get a car seat as your big baby shower gift (multiple people can contribute). Used isn’t a great option for car seats (unlike basically all other baby gear) due to safety concerns, and they’re expensive. Next priority if I were doing it again would be tons of cloth diapers in graduating sizes. People will buy cute (and/or horrifyingly ugly) clothes whether you like it or not, especially if you have a girl. Other than that they don’t need shoes until they can walk, and mine still prefers our recycling bin contents to most toys at 19 months. We never used a stroller or baby monitor or anything electronic. We used the high chair we got for a few months but could have done without, probably.

[hearthculture]

Congratulations! :,-)

The excitement leading up can be intoxicating. It can help to acknowledge early on that you have almost 10 months of time, and that there is no rush to have everything in order. Western society really pushes for purchase everything in advance, and prepare through purchasing. Resist as much as possible and wait for hand-me-downs. If either of you is nesting, get some paints and make some wall art or knit some things rather than buying hundreds of dollars of stuff. Soooo much of what was given to us, purchased for us, and purchased by us was never used.

A newborn wants to be near you for the first few days (even weeks and months.) If you can, delay getting stuff until you actually need it. After we spent so much preparing, we ended up having to do this anyway as we adapted to our baby's actually needs; if we would have waited, we could have spent where it counted in the first place.

We far preferred wearing our babies and carriers like the ergo were amazing and far cheaper than having multiple strollers (much easier to take places as well annnnd bonus you get more fit while wearing your baby!) We also loved our Moby wrap- which you can actually make, it's just a large piece of cloth.

We used cloth diapers, but a more modern kind that has a cover built in. For the infants we used a soft wool cover over cloth. There are multiple types, we loved the bum genious brand but people have different opinions. If you go the cloth route, get one of the diaper sprayers that attaches to your toilet, makes a pre-wash quick and easy, helps the diapers last longer, and doubles as a bidet. The diapers can be a big initial investment but are great to ask for as gifts. With care, some of our diapers lasted through 2-3 children (and then were given to others who got more life out of them,) so over time they were much, much cheaper than disposables.

A nose-frida was a life saver and affordable, I wish we learned about it much sooner. (It sounds gross, but it is a tube with a filter that allows you to safely clear mucous out of a baby's nose. It is much gentler and more functional than the traditional bulb sucker thing.)

We used went an alternate route and used a birth center for our first, a homebirth with midwife for our second, a friend assisted homebirth for the third, and an unassisted homebirth for the last. My wife was a doula and training as a midwife which gave us more confidence. A modern hospital birth can cost $10k up to 3x that. Even the birth center which had full staff and medical equipment was under $5k, and obviously the last two were nearly "free." I can say now that the final unassisted birth was a step to far for me, and though ours was successful I've seen and heard stories of rough experiences. I believe that birth really benefits from having trusted and skilled people around, and it is so lovely to focus on being a husband and father with others taking care of the rest. The trusted part is really important too. I highly recommend only allowing those you and your wife feel very safe with to attend the birth. While my wife was working births, there were sad and stressful stories of parents who felt compelled to allow someone untrusted to be present leading to adverse consequences.

We benefited from The Baby Book by William Sears, Raising Baby Green by Alan Greene, and The Natural Pregnancy Book by Aviva Jill Romm.

Wishing you, your wife, and your baby wellness and protection.

[weilong]

Children outgrow clothes so quickly that there is hardly time to wear them out. Neither do the kids care if the stuff is new or not. Same goes for a lot of toys and things. I don't think we actually bought clothes for our kids until they were in elementary school. Until then we were getting hand-me-downs from friends and family, which we in turn passed on to other families.

General Frugal Baby Advice

[(Anonymous)]

* For baby clothes 0-16 months gifts and hand-me-downs should be more than adequate so save your money for larger sizes. 2T is where kids start to wear out clothes and the hand-me-downs and gifted outfits are less reliable.

* Only buy one or two pairs of shoes per size; even with cheap shoes they're likely to be outgrown long before they're worn out.

* Skip the fancy stroller and get a nice soft wearable infant carrier instead. Later, around 9-12 months, get an umbrella stroller (these are cheap, compact, and light weight.) Then at 18-24 months get a nice wagon.

* The hexagonal pop-up playpens are great for babies 3 months to 14 months, but will not contain them for much longer. Baby gates also have a fairly short shelf life. Start thinking about what "zones" baby will have access to and start getting those areas ready, by 24 months it'll take locked doors to keep the kid out.

* Simplify your life now. The less stuff, processes, and obligations you have the easier it will be to care for the baby.

[jenniferkobernik]

Another thought:

If you have good insurance or are not in the US, this may be less of a concern, but we found that having midwifery care and giving birth in a birth center instead of a hospital was preferable in every way (for us) and also only cost $6,000 instead of the $30,000+ we would have needed to pay in hospital. Our crummy insurance that we got before we started trying for a baby paid for one $250 blood test during my entire pregnancy. 🙄 But that is largely because we were particular about the providers we used and the type of care we got. It would have paid for more if we had been willing to be assigned to whatever rando MD 100 miles away our HMO kept trying to send us to. But it’s worth thinking about, since the cost of the prenatal and the birth itself is likely to be more than all the baby gear put together unless your insurance aligns with the care you want to receive.

Congratulations

[(Anonymous)]

While everyone is focused on baby, I'm going to make a couple of suggestions for parents.

First off....food. You have no idea how tired you're going to be. You will survive. But. If you have a freezer of any size consider filling with leftovers for instant meals. Along with what ever will go in the pantry. Heat & eat lasagne is a life saver. Stew, likewise. If you don't have a freezer at the moment, do you have space for one. (I don't know how people can manage without, just to explain where I'm coming from). More often than not, freezers can be found in the classifieds. If luck is with you...free. (Observation, ginormous freezers, ie 20 cubic feet are more likely to be free than the smaller models. And when sold, cheaper. If you have the room you needn't worry about it being "too big". )

While your collecting baby clothes, look out for cheap post natal mommy clothing. Especially tops. Leaking, especially in the first weeks (when you'll both be desperate for sleep) is usual. Enough tops for several changes a day. The tops don't have to be great, just clean, dry and wearable. Within in a month or two the tops can be donated the local thrift store.

[milkyway1]

Congrats! :-)

I second what all the others have said: You‘ll need almost nothing, and most of that almost nothing can be bought used or improvised.

If people want to gift you clothes, see if you can convince them not to invest in the shiny outer layers, but into sensible and high-quality under layers, especially wool or wool-silk bodies (and later shirts/pants as underwear or as nightgear). These will regulate temperature and our kids have been very happy in them.

If somebody wants to give you a more visible or special gift, I‘d ask for a woollen blanket. They come in baby sizes (a standard sized blanket is way too big!), and they are cosy, temperature-regulating, can be used in bed, in the car seat, in the stroller, and to wrap the baby in a bit in general.

Wool is easy to handle: Oftentimes it‘s enough to air it out. As long as you wash it cold by hand, or in a cold wool cycle of your maschine, and use soap or detergent which is ok to use on wool (most detergents are too aggressive and will damage the protein structure of the wool), you should be fine.

Another frugal advice which I don‘t think anybody has mentioned yet: Washclothes.

You‘ll need tons of them. But babies are small and standard washclothes are huge in comparison. Before our first, we got advice from friends to simply cut up old t-shirts - and that works brilliantly.

Take an old t-shirt, cut off any seams, hemlines and anything else which is „thicker“ or less soft than the rest of the cloth. Then cut the rest into suitably-sized pieces - that‘s it.

You can go for nicely shaped squares, but it‘s really a waste of good material, as any shape will do. Also, you don‘t need to hem them or anything. They will roll in a bit along the edges, but this doesn‘t matter. And after the laundry, no need to fold them up or otherwise fuss about them: just throw the dry cloths into a basket or stuff them into a drawer and you‘re done.

Voila - you just got an endless supply of soft washclothes in the sizes of your choice, for free and without much fuss! :-)

(If you don‘t have old t-shirts, ask around - somebody is bound to have a stack which they meant to wear for garden work etc, but don‘t really need, and will be happy to share for a good cause. Flannel shirts might also work, but I‘ve never tried them.)

All the best to you and the little one,

Milkyway

The perfect baby gift you didn't know you needed

[teresa_from_hershey]

Thanks to everyone who mentioned *SNAPS*.

Snap closures on baby stuff are great and easy to use.
But! They can fall off.
You can hand-sew on replacement snaps but what works better is a Dritz snap replacer.

This is the perfect baby gift. I guarantee you don't have one, yet it allows you to replace all those darned snaps that vanish in the wash.
If you've never seen one, every fabric store sells them. They're a giant, specialty pair of pliers. Buy an assortment of snaps. The snap replacer can use several sizes.

You'll need strong hands to work the snap replacer, but it will keep all kinds of baby clothes in service when you replace the snaps. As long as there's some usable fabric -- or sew on a patch! -- you can replace the snap.

The snap replacer does both sides of the snap separately so you can replace the missing side.