Open (More or Less) Post on Covid 65
Nov. 1st, 2022 11:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ecosophia
As we proceed through the second year of these open posts, it's pretty clear that the official narrative is cracking as the toll of deaths and injuries from the Covid vaccines rises steadily and the vaccines themselves demonstrate their total uselesness at preventing Covid infection or transmission. It's still important to keep watch over the mis-, mal- and nonfeasance of our self-proclaimed health gruppenfuehrers, and the disastrous results of the Covid mania, but I think it's also time to begin thinking about what might be possible as the existing medical industry reels under the impact of its own self-inflicted injuries. So it's time for another open post. The rules are the same as before:
1. If you plan on parroting the party line of the medical industry and its paid shills, please go away. This is a place for people to talk openly, honestly, and freely about their concerns that the party line in question is dangerously flawed and that actions being pushed by the medical industry et al. are causing injury and death. It is not a place for you to dismiss those concerns. Anyone who wants to hear the official story and the arguments in favor of it can find those on hundreds of thousands of websites.
2. If you plan on insisting that the current situation is the result of a deliberate plot by some villainous group of people or other, please go away. There are tens of thousands of websites currently rehashing various conspiracy theories about the Covid-19 outbreak and the vaccines. This is not one of them. What we're exploring is the likelihood that what's going on is the product of the same arrogance, incompetence, and corruption that the medical industry and its tame politicians have displayed so abundantly in recent decades. That possibility deserves a space of its own for discussion, and that's what we're doing here.
3. If you plan on using rent-a-troll derailing or disruption tactics, please go away. I'm quite familiar with the standard tactics used by troll farms to disrupt online forums, and am ready, willing, and able -- and in fact quite eager -- to ban people permanently for engaging in them here. Oh, and I also lurk on other Covid-19 vaccine skeptic blogs, so I'm likely to notice when the same posts are showing up on more than one venue.
4. If you don't believe in treating people with common courtesy, please go away. I have, and enforce, a strict courtesy policy on my blogs and online forums, and this is no exception. The sort of schoolyard bullying that takes place on so many other internet forums will get you deleted and banned here. Also, please don't drag in current quarrels about sex, race, religious, etc. No, I don't care if you disagree with that: my journal, my rules.
With that said, the floor is open for discussion.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-07 02:18 pm (UTC)The more things return to normal, the more reluctant I am to return to the things I used to enjoy doing. Some of it is the places I was banned from not being jabbed, and knowing those places are filled with and run by people who likely wished me to die last winter. But mostly I just can't get enthusiastic about doing anything that involves large events or being in public places.
So much of what I enjoyed feels so empty and meaningless now. I don't know if its because I now see how many people are going through the motions of life, or if its the knowledge of how quickly people are willing to destroy everything for their ideological (religious?) reasons. I've gone to events again, that I went to every year for over a decade (even in 2020 with masks and thankfully didn't have vax passports in 2021) and this year in 2022 those events are so devoid of life. Things look like they did in previous years, but it just doesn't feel real anymore.
I don't know if any of this makes sense. I can't tell if it's a me problem or others have experienced it too. My vaccinated family still doesn't want to talk about the vax or what people are like out there or anything really. Covid is like the biggest dead elephant in the room suffocating everything.
It could be depression but I'm sleeping like normal, and dressing/showering and actually more productive than ever work wise. In fact I'd say I'm less depressed than I've been through most of the covid mess. Probably finally getting used to living in low-level anxiety.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-07 05:18 pm (UTC)Immediate family life is full of joy (and challenge), the kid's school is worthwhile, this group here is highly engaging and entertaining, a small group of family friends (who had mixed beliefs over the past few years) is fun, work is enjoyable, but when I enter larger aspects of society, the drive to engage is like having no wind on a flat sea. I just can't bring myself to care, and not for lack of trying or desire. I miss large family gatherings, I miss cultural events, I miss music, I miss holiday celebrations, I miss museums, I miss feeling exasperated at politics. These are all extras for sure, and the important parts of life feel full, but it feels like being in a little bubble, seeing other bubbles float by, with no connection to a societal narrative. More than anything, I miss not feeling like I have to watch the news all the time, because if I don't, some crazy and dangerous thing may be in the process of being mandated.
I've wondered if it was depression as well, but this doesn't feel like it. The outcome seem the same, but the cause feels different. It's hard to verbalize, but you did a good job above.
Murmuration
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-08 01:09 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-08 10:58 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-08 04:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-07 05:32 pm (UTC)A lot of this resonates with my experience and I can only share what I've had success and failure with to hopefully help.
Unfortunately I received the primary series for a host of reasons at the time, but have since leaned on that to emphasize out how ridiculous this has always been and how it keeps carrying on in strange ways.
I've had the experience of the complete stonewalling of vax topics too with people close to me that I've had to accept while finding opportunities to ask questions that undermine assumptions, but it is not yet at a point of reflection unfortunately. People I've found largely want to move along and block it out, which I'm finding more funny than anything, because they seriously are flabbergasted as to why the political opposition is still harping on the impact and decisions made of past 2-3 years when they weren't even complying with the policies.
I've accepted that other people's mental state and what leads to their thoughts and beliefs is so far out of my control that holding onto the fear, grief, and pain hurts me and them. Instead I'm trying to live through example, to be a consistent questioner and doubter of the latest thing, to not shy away from activities or whatever else has been made taboo in the past to show that you do not need to go along with this constant fear and can think for yourself. It takes two to speak the truth: one to speak and another to hear.
As for groups and participation, I've found it very fun to join new groups, coming in without the baggage of knowing the individuals and there past actions to help steer things in a more open direction, with relative success. Maybe sticking with the same ones for now is like not letting go of an ex? Maybe it's never really possible to get over it or at the very least more space is needed.
As for low level anxiety and depression, forums like this one have been empowering for me in terms of being more productive than ever (maybe not at my job but that's a different story), with everything going on there is a drive to do something, to not let fear steer us and to maybe discover new things or rediscover old ones in a different setting. But there is also the sense of when will the dam burst for my own life and eventually I loop back to the need for patience and to know that if we stick on the desire for something, we often aren't working towards those goals.
Hope this helps, it has been such a crazy few years that I'd be skeptical of anyone who didn't struggle at one point or the other
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-07 07:32 pm (UTC)Prior to covid, I was always the host of holiday family gatherings. We haven’t done that since 2019. Just last week, my quadruple-jabbed sister asked me if I was hosting Thanksgiving this year. She’s going for her bivalent booster this week so she’ll feel ‘safe’ being around us unjabbed (unclean) folks, she says. I used to love the whole holiday season, starting with Thanksgiving and going through New Year’s, used to love the getting together to eat a meal and catch up. The thought of doing that now just leaves me cold. No interest whatsoever. Zip. Nada.
I think I’m decent at forgiving, but unfortunately for my sister and some others in my life, I have a memory like an elephant. I never forget. Your reluctance to go back to places you were previously banned from feels very familiar to me. I know I’m not ready yet. :/
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-08 10:55 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-07 07:44 pm (UTC)It didn't remove the loneliness but by gosh, by golly, I'm sure glad I did.
It didn't slam me (like an unwilling astronaut) into a cramped space where I didn't want to be.
I'm also reprioritizing my energies and expect, anticipate, new opportunities will develop.
It's all still very weird and I sympathize with your experience and the place you find yourself.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-07 08:02 pm (UTC)-Aquamarine Invisible Moose
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-07 09:18 pm (UTC)i went through this by myself 11 years ago when i died as i was and i think this is a stage of disconnecting. earlier i was saying most of us go through this ALONE and thus we think it's ourselves, and we suicide out (actually or mentally or socially or legally).
i asked "what does it look like when we STAY?" and that's where YOU are NOW. i think that's why you CAN sleep./you're good with YOU. where you're at.
if you're who i think you are, you've been sad about the arts you loved, being closed off to you. and i said you're on the front lines of NEW ART.
even in YOUR EXPERIENCE NOW, you are already NEW ART.
Murmuration said the question of how to exist with those who wanna eradicate you (as you also put it) is THE seminal question. yes! but FIRST, i think the real SEMINAL QUESTION is where you're at:
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I STICK AROUND AND DON'T POLITELY DISMISS MYSELF BY SUICIDING OUT???
this is like a prompt for a story writing class, it's got so many unknown possibilities, depending on your angle or assumptions or beliefs.
i'm not "telling" you anything. that's not my job. as an artist i'm ALL PROMPT. and like Hearthspirit reminded us, in improv it's always "YES, AND..."
that's where YOU'RE AT. i'm trying to say you're New Art. you're LIVING it. the soft focus hazy not-quite-in-their-world floaty questions and dares that we'd test before in SOFT TIMES, but now these are HARD TIMES and take warriors.
YOU ARE THAT.
so as i see it and forgive me for i speak in cartoons, i see YOU as having prayed at the feet of Art by visiting all these institutions. they were just shuckin' and jivin' and you believed in this stuff For Real, as did i.
and now you're... ???
this is the curse and blessing of each day, possibly terrifying or exhilarating (and often BOTH when you're really doing Your Job)... of facing The Blank Page... the Empty Canvas... the Unscheduled Future.
i suppose what i'm really saying, St Catherine Alexandria, is:
welcome! you're one of us artists. this is what it FEELS like being us before now times when everyone was going along gayly whistling past EVERYTHING.
x
erika
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-08 10:49 am (UTC)No one tells you what it feels like to go through it. They describe it all from the outside.
Which reminds me -
When I was pregnant, I read every pregnancy book I could get my hands on. Good girl wanting to do it right etc etc. I'm at the hospital in labor, they tell me to push, and I said "Omg it feels like I have to poop!" The nurse (in the most bland voice possible) says, "It's the same nerves around the anus and the vagina so yeah, birth feels like pooping."
Not one single book, blog post, or pre-natal appointment said that!!!
So they leave it to nurses in the hospital to break the news to every new mom I guess.
Erika you're a treasure - thank you. I still feel awful but I feel better knowing I've labeled it wrong. I'm feeling the birth of art, I'm an artist.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-07 10:08 pm (UTC)Hello stcathalexandra,
I can relate to what you are saying. I just got back from attending a literary gala event and a book festival and I found that I was very turned off / bored / disdainful of so many of the people-- the "scene" that I used to find so engaging. I wasn't surprised by that, I expected that, but still, it's a downer.
So why did I even attend? Curiosity, mainly. I was hoping for some more clarity, too, at least in the conversations I have with myself.
I haven't entirely given up on the old scene, but it's a ghost of what it was to me, and I conclude that much of the reason is that most people in it are relying on support from government, foundations, and universities and schools-- all of which give the boot to "wrongthink."
Right now I am thinking that what I need to do is find my people, and that means identify **individuals** and nurture those **individual relationships**. Free-lancers, entrepreneurs, independent editors, independent scholars, and so on.
PS With one exception, my family is the same story, all vaxxed, most also boosted, several injured, no one wants to hear anything about it. At. all.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-08 10:36 am (UTC)I'm so sorry to hear about your family. That's gotta hit hard. Myself, I cry if I stop to think it.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-08 12:38 pm (UTC)It reminds me very strongly of the end of my first marriage. (I'm working on a longer piece to explain it better), but I hear you SCA.
It's the part where you are ready to say the "D" word (divorce) out loud.
After your partner(society) betrayed you, there was a time of sound and fury - lot's of energy, yelling and slamming doors..."I can't believe you did that, how can you not see how wrong that was?" "You made me do it, you anti-science granny killer"...Then there's the false peace: just give me my job back/let me participate again, and I'll act like everything is fine. But we never actually changed anything, it's just that we were so invested in the happily ever after story, and had no inkling of any other future. Yet, no matter how hard we pretend it's OK, or how much we want it to work out (because everything we know about the future is tied up in 'the other')...one day over breakfast, we look at that society, and we know it's irrevocably over. Suddenly, between bites of toast, the realisation dawns...those old dreams are dead and gone, and to stay and fight for this relationship would be to forever sell ourselves short. There's not even enough energy in that relationship to be mad, just a sadness, an emptiness. That's when you acknowledge to yourself...there's no hate or anger, nor love nor any shred of enthusiasm...no energy at all, except a touch of sorrow for futures that will go unlived. And you finish your toast and announce "I want a divorce"
Goatgirl
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-08 06:20 pm (UTC)I just got an email that a conference scheduled for July 2023 is going to be online due to "health safety concerns". In July 2023? They just won't let covid go and are willing to ruin everything come hell or high water. It's insanity.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-08 06:20 pm (UTC)You and all of the replies saying some variation of "me too" mean that it's not just me.
I, too, am having trouble caring about things (and people) I used to care about.
I think the word I would use is "alienation".
I used to have a wider circle of people I considered friends, but now I consider them just acquaintances. It turns out we have very different values, and that I don't have much in common with them - at least, not much that I think of as important. I now know which way they'll blow in the face of absurd fear-mongering and a (to me very obvious) propaganda campaign to demonize and scapegoat a subgroup of people, and have also discovered that when the chips are down, they don't actually share my commitment to thing like civil liberties and questioning authority. I've lost my respect for them. I'm not even mad...just disappointed and utterly alienated. Some of them keep inviting me to things and I'm like, why would I want to go? I don't have anything in common with you.
I, too, used to enjoy live performances and museums, but now feel alienated from most of those places too. I saw how quick they were to exclude people on the basis of absolutely nothing but fear-mongering and virtue-signalling. Someone recently invited me to a show that I might have liked, at a venue I used to patronize, and my reaction was just, why would I want to go there? They banned me last year, for no good reason. Why would I choose to go where people like me were excluded?
I used to volunteer at a nonprofit, but they had a volunteer jab mandate for a while. Why would I want to help them, if that was their attitude?
I have a small circle of friends left, and there are local businesses that never went along with the nonsense (or at least complied only minimally to the extent necessary to stay open), which I still frequent.
But I just feel alienated from much of society.
I'm trying to figure out where to go from here.