Thank you for framing this! Yes, I feel almost exactly the same way.
Immediate family life is full of joy (and challenge), the kid's school is worthwhile, this group here is highly engaging and entertaining, a small group of family friends (who had mixed beliefs over the past few years) is fun, work is enjoyable, but when I enter larger aspects of society, the drive to engage is like having no wind on a flat sea. I just can't bring myself to care, and not for lack of trying or desire. I miss large family gatherings, I miss cultural events, I miss music, I miss holiday celebrations, I miss museums, I miss feeling exasperated at politics. These are all extras for sure, and the important parts of life feel full, but it feels like being in a little bubble, seeing other bubbles float by, with no connection to a societal narrative. More than anything, I miss not feeling like I have to watch the news all the time, because if I don't, some crazy and dangerous thing may be in the process of being mandated.
I've wondered if it was depression as well, but this doesn't feel like it. The outcome seem the same, but the cause feels different. It's hard to verbalize, but you did a good job above.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2022-11-07 05:18 pm (UTC)Immediate family life is full of joy (and challenge), the kid's school is worthwhile, this group here is highly engaging and entertaining, a small group of family friends (who had mixed beliefs over the past few years) is fun, work is enjoyable, but when I enter larger aspects of society, the drive to engage is like having no wind on a flat sea. I just can't bring myself to care, and not for lack of trying or desire. I miss large family gatherings, I miss cultural events, I miss music, I miss holiday celebrations, I miss museums, I miss feeling exasperated at politics. These are all extras for sure, and the important parts of life feel full, but it feels like being in a little bubble, seeing other bubbles float by, with no connection to a societal narrative. More than anything, I miss not feeling like I have to watch the news all the time, because if I don't, some crazy and dangerous thing may be in the process of being mandated.
I've wondered if it was depression as well, but this doesn't feel like it. The outcome seem the same, but the cause feels different. It's hard to verbalize, but you did a good job above.
Murmuration