Once I was walking by a house for sale so was looking closely over the fence. Dogs on chains were being kept in the open and they had gone mad. They had no shelter, short haired breeds out in the wintertime, and they barked at everything. It was horrible to witness.
The pain, despair and outrage of my last few months have not abated. While my sorrow over the loss of my partner is likely to diminish naturally with time and ordinary healing, there are emotional effects from witnessing the awful treatment he received in the medical machine which bode fair to stay with me forever. These are very much sentiments on the lower astral and I want to exorcise them. Let their energy be transmuted into something healthy and bright. Offer it to powers who will do that with it.
I feel swamped by this energy, like a feeding trough for negative entities, in danger of being posioned myself, or going mad. How can people heal from horror? If this is (just) PTSD it is of a far direr kind than the version I had previously met. I am not alone: veterans get it, those who have experienced or witnessed medical malpractice and negligence are legion. People on this list have had such experiences of real horror and trauma. I don't want to call them out personally here, but could anyone point to what might have helped them?
Trauma counselling would not seem to be up to the task. The Octagon Society work does not appear on spec to be designed to deal with it. Daily banishing is ineffectual.
Other observations on the subject: Music transforms, composers transmute suffering into beauty. Listening to much classical music does give me momentary peace. "Wings of Desire" the film depicts a compassionate angel whose job it is to witness humans' suffering. But not heal it. Probably other works of art are created under similar circumstances and the empathy contained in them can reach the audience. Tchaikovsky and Brahms come to mind.
What I did last time the awfulness hit me was beg my Guardian Angel to send the energy to beings who would be able to transform it. I did sense some waves of light descending to me at that point, rather than the suffering itself doing anything particular. It has felt slightly lighter since then. But I worry about it coming back.
Addendum to my query from last week re all sorts of things going wrong in my life - I have been reminded that it is not only for me, and not only now; boccaccio mentioned this in February concerning the energy coming down the planes: https://ecosophia.dreamwidth.org/316974.html?thread=54075950#cmt54075950 And others on the thread confirmed.
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branchandroot
big questions on heavy matters
Date: 2025-06-23 05:11 am (UTC)Once I was walking by a house for sale so was looking closely over the fence. Dogs on chains were being kept in the open and they had gone mad. They had no shelter, short haired breeds out in the wintertime, and they barked at everything. It was horrible to witness.
The pain, despair and outrage of my last few months have not abated. While my sorrow over the loss of my partner is likely to diminish naturally with time and ordinary healing, there are emotional effects from witnessing the awful treatment he received in the medical machine which bode fair to stay with me forever. These are very much sentiments on the lower astral and I want to exorcise them. Let their energy be transmuted into something healthy and bright. Offer it to powers who will do that with it.
I feel swamped by this energy, like a feeding trough for negative entities, in danger of being posioned myself, or going mad. How can people heal from horror? If this is (just) PTSD it is of a far direr kind than the version I had previously met. I am not alone: veterans get it, those who have experienced or witnessed medical malpractice and negligence are legion. People on this list have had such experiences of real horror and trauma. I don't want to call them out personally here, but could anyone point to what might have helped them?
Trauma counselling would not seem to be up to the task.
The Octagon Society work does not appear on spec to be designed to deal with it.
Daily banishing is ineffectual.
Other observations on the subject:
Music transforms, composers transmute suffering into beauty. Listening to much classical music does give me momentary peace.
"Wings of Desire" the film depicts a compassionate angel whose job it is to witness humans' suffering. But not heal it.
Probably other works of art are created under similar circumstances and the empathy contained in them can reach the audience. Tchaikovsky and Brahms come to mind.
What I did last time the awfulness hit me was beg my Guardian Angel to send the energy to beings who would be able to transform it. I did sense some waves of light descending to me at that point, rather than the suffering itself doing anything particular. It has felt slightly lighter since then. But I worry about it coming back.
Addendum to my query from last week re all sorts of things going wrong in my life - I have been reminded that it is not only for me, and not only now;
https://ecosophia.dreamwidth.org/316974.html?thread=54075950#cmt54075950
And others on the thread confirmed.