Many thanks for starting this thread-- it's good to recall what a long strange trip it's been for so many of us.
Initially, I was certain that nothing that no new drug, using such a novel technology, could claim safety. On general principle, I don't trust new drugs, and "wait and see" seemed the only wise choice. As the propaganda campaign ramped up to take the shots, I bristled. I long ago traveled and studied in the USSR, so I think that gave me a much better nose for propaganda than many people, and I dug in my heels more, despite not having any real specifics. Listening to Malone and Kirsch on Rogan's podcast was a revelation, as was running across Geert Van den Bossche's early aricles. I had specifics to hang my instincts on now.
I now knew firmly that I could not consent to the pressure. I risked my job at a place under high pressure to vax all staff, and applied for a religious exemption in the fall of 2021. It was granted, which still surprises me, but I did submit some supporting attestations from some members of my Quaker meeting affirming that my objections seemed a genuine "leading" in Quaker-speak. But I was ready to lose my job over it, and this community helped me greatly in staying true to a deep sense of what was right. As I posted here years ago now, I would awake in the middle of the night and notice how many disparate currents in my eccentric life had converged to this single point. I had to say, "No."
I had once instance of a seductive little voice in the middle of the night-- "Oh, just take the shot, it'll be easier, and you won't be harmed." My conscience immediately answered: "NO!" (or perhaps it was my innate stubborness.) Another time, I awoke in the middle of the night and realized what a twisty, conventionally unsuccessful path my life had taken. Another voice jumped in, reassuringly, "Well, you are eccentric. And that's an accomplishment!" I have had some success in maintaining a connection with that entity, whom I believe to be Theotokos (I got her name from someone posting here months ago, and it seems to fit.)
When my Quaker meeting established a "separate but equal" worship policy for the unvaccinated (me!) I ultimately realized that these were not the people I thought I knew, and I have stopped participating. No doubt there is some work for me to do here on forgiveness, but I'm sure that my break is more than just sour grapes. They were not who they claimed when it counted. I've started an association with an esoteric order JMG mentioned here, and on almost all days I do at least a mediation and some prayer. I am exploring unconventional spiritual paths-- independent sacramental movement, polytheism, Rosicrucianism, divination. All of it drives home that I live far too much in my head, but also that the world is filled with magic. What a time to witness, to make some small change in, and simply to be alive.
The people here have been my single biggest support for three years. Thanks to you all.
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branchandroot
Re: The Epiphany (A reflection thread on pandemic choices)
Date: 2023-07-21 01:03 am (UTC)Initially, I was certain that nothing that no new drug, using such a novel technology, could claim safety. On general principle, I don't trust new drugs, and "wait and see" seemed the only wise choice. As the propaganda campaign ramped up to take the shots, I bristled. I long ago traveled and studied in the USSR, so I think that gave me a much better nose for propaganda than many people, and I dug in my heels more, despite not having any real specifics. Listening to Malone and Kirsch on Rogan's podcast was a revelation, as was running across Geert Van den Bossche's early aricles. I had specifics to hang my instincts on now.
I now knew firmly that I could not consent to the pressure. I risked my job at a place under high pressure to vax all staff, and applied for a religious exemption in the fall of 2021. It was granted, which still surprises me, but I did submit some supporting attestations from some members of my Quaker meeting affirming that my objections seemed a genuine "leading" in Quaker-speak. But I was ready to lose my job over it, and this community helped me greatly in staying true to a deep sense of what was right. As I posted here years ago now, I would awake in the middle of the night and notice how many disparate currents in my eccentric life had converged to this single point. I had to say, "No."
I had once instance of a seductive little voice in the middle of the night-- "Oh, just take the shot, it'll be easier, and you won't be harmed." My conscience immediately answered: "NO!" (or perhaps it was my innate stubborness.) Another time, I awoke in the middle of the night and realized what a twisty, conventionally unsuccessful path my life had taken. Another voice jumped in, reassuringly, "Well, you are eccentric. And that's an accomplishment!" I have had some success in maintaining a connection with that entity, whom I believe to be Theotokos (I got her name from someone posting here months ago, and it seems to fit.)
When my Quaker meeting established a "separate but equal" worship policy for the unvaccinated (me!) I ultimately realized that these were not the people I thought I knew, and I have stopped participating. No doubt there is some work for me to do here on forgiveness, but I'm sure that my break is more than just sour grapes. They were not who they claimed when it counted. I've started an association with an esoteric order JMG mentioned here, and on almost all days I do at least a mediation and some prayer. I am exploring unconventional spiritual paths-- independent sacramental movement, polytheism, Rosicrucianism, divination. All of it drives home that I live far too much in my head, but also that the world is filled with magic. What a time to witness, to make some small change in, and simply to be alive.
The people here have been my single biggest support for three years. Thanks to you all.