it's me, erika. i wrote a response then trashed it. i think. then i wrote again, then trashed it. i'm not sure you "feel" me and worry i'm wasting both of our time, BUT i feel YOU (smile), so here goes:
i went through this by myself 11 years ago when i died as i was and i think this is a stage of disconnecting. earlier i was saying most of us go through this ALONE and thus we think it's ourselves, and we suicide out (actually or mentally or socially or legally).
i asked "what does it look like when we STAY?" and that's where YOU are NOW. i think that's why you CAN sleep./you're good with YOU. where you're at.
if you're who i think you are, you've been sad about the arts you loved, being closed off to you. and i said you're on the front lines of NEW ART.
even in YOUR EXPERIENCE NOW, you are already NEW ART.
Murmuration said the question of how to exist with those who wanna eradicate you (as you also put it) is THE seminal question. yes! but FIRST, i think the real SEMINAL QUESTION is where you're at:
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I STICK AROUND AND DON'T POLITELY DISMISS MYSELF BY SUICIDING OUT???
this is like a prompt for a story writing class, it's got so many unknown possibilities, depending on your angle or assumptions or beliefs.
i'm not "telling" you anything. that's not my job. as an artist i'm ALL PROMPT. and like Hearthspirit reminded us, in improv it's always "YES, AND..."
that's where YOU'RE AT. i'm trying to say you're New Art. you're LIVING it. the soft focus hazy not-quite-in-their-world floaty questions and dares that we'd test before in SOFT TIMES, but now these are HARD TIMES and take warriors.
YOU ARE THAT.
so as i see it and forgive me for i speak in cartoons, i see YOU as having prayed at the feet of Art by visiting all these institutions. they were just shuckin' and jivin' and you believed in this stuff For Real, as did i.
and now you're... ???
this is the curse and blessing of each day, possibly terrifying or exhilarating (and often BOTH when you're really doing Your Job)... of facing The Blank Page... the Empty Canvas... the Unscheduled Future.
i suppose what i'm really saying, St Catherine Alexandria, is:
welcome! you're one of us artists. this is what it FEELS like being us before now times when everyone was going along gayly whistling past EVERYTHING.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-07 09:18 pm (UTC)i went through this by myself 11 years ago when i died as i was and i think this is a stage of disconnecting. earlier i was saying most of us go through this ALONE and thus we think it's ourselves, and we suicide out (actually or mentally or socially or legally).
i asked "what does it look like when we STAY?" and that's where YOU are NOW. i think that's why you CAN sleep./you're good with YOU. where you're at.
if you're who i think you are, you've been sad about the arts you loved, being closed off to you. and i said you're on the front lines of NEW ART.
even in YOUR EXPERIENCE NOW, you are already NEW ART.
Murmuration said the question of how to exist with those who wanna eradicate you (as you also put it) is THE seminal question. yes! but FIRST, i think the real SEMINAL QUESTION is where you're at:
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I STICK AROUND AND DON'T POLITELY DISMISS MYSELF BY SUICIDING OUT???
this is like a prompt for a story writing class, it's got so many unknown possibilities, depending on your angle or assumptions or beliefs.
i'm not "telling" you anything. that's not my job. as an artist i'm ALL PROMPT. and like Hearthspirit reminded us, in improv it's always "YES, AND..."
that's where YOU'RE AT. i'm trying to say you're New Art. you're LIVING it. the soft focus hazy not-quite-in-their-world floaty questions and dares that we'd test before in SOFT TIMES, but now these are HARD TIMES and take warriors.
YOU ARE THAT.
so as i see it and forgive me for i speak in cartoons, i see YOU as having prayed at the feet of Art by visiting all these institutions. they were just shuckin' and jivin' and you believed in this stuff For Real, as did i.
and now you're... ???
this is the curse and blessing of each day, possibly terrifying or exhilarating (and often BOTH when you're really doing Your Job)... of facing The Blank Page... the Empty Canvas... the Unscheduled Future.
i suppose what i'm really saying, St Catherine Alexandria, is:
welcome! you're one of us artists. this is what it FEELS like being us before now times when everyone was going along gayly whistling past EVERYTHING.
x
erika