I don't know if this is more of a Magic Monday question for JMG or more of a community question, but its definitely covid related -
The more things return to normal, the more reluctant I am to return to the things I used to enjoy doing. Some of it is the places I was banned from not being jabbed, and knowing those places are filled with and run by people who likely wished me to die last winter. But mostly I just can't get enthusiastic about doing anything that involves large events or being in public places.
So much of what I enjoyed feels so empty and meaningless now. I don't know if its because I now see how many people are going through the motions of life, or if its the knowledge of how quickly people are willing to destroy everything for their ideological (religious?) reasons. I've gone to events again, that I went to every year for over a decade (even in 2020 with masks and thankfully didn't have vax passports in 2021) and this year in 2022 those events are so devoid of life. Things look like they did in previous years, but it just doesn't feel real anymore.
I don't know if any of this makes sense. I can't tell if it's a me problem or others have experienced it too. My vaccinated family still doesn't want to talk about the vax or what people are like out there or anything really. Covid is like the biggest dead elephant in the room suffocating everything.
It could be depression but I'm sleeping like normal, and dressing/showering and actually more productive than ever work wise. In fact I'd say I'm less depressed than I've been through most of the covid mess. Probably finally getting used to living in low-level anxiety.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-07 02:18 pm (UTC)The more things return to normal, the more reluctant I am to return to the things I used to enjoy doing. Some of it is the places I was banned from not being jabbed, and knowing those places are filled with and run by people who likely wished me to die last winter. But mostly I just can't get enthusiastic about doing anything that involves large events or being in public places.
So much of what I enjoyed feels so empty and meaningless now. I don't know if its because I now see how many people are going through the motions of life, or if its the knowledge of how quickly people are willing to destroy everything for their ideological (religious?) reasons. I've gone to events again, that I went to every year for over a decade (even in 2020 with masks and thankfully didn't have vax passports in 2021) and this year in 2022 those events are so devoid of life. Things look like they did in previous years, but it just doesn't feel real anymore.
I don't know if any of this makes sense. I can't tell if it's a me problem or others have experienced it too. My vaccinated family still doesn't want to talk about the vax or what people are like out there or anything really. Covid is like the biggest dead elephant in the room suffocating everything.
It could be depression but I'm sleeping like normal, and dressing/showering and actually more productive than ever work wise. In fact I'd say I'm less depressed than I've been through most of the covid mess. Probably finally getting used to living in low-level anxiety.