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ecosophia
As mentioned in a post last week, I've decided to make the teachings of the Octagon Society, the first of three levels of the Order of Spiritual Alchemy, freely available here. If you didn't read last week's post, please do so -- it explains what the OSA was and is, summarizes its history, and explains what the teachings are meant to accomplish. Back when this course of training was available online, there were three preliminary lessons which were readily available to anyone and everyone. Prospective members of the OSA were expected to complete those lessons before going on to the first of the eight ranks of the Octagon Society. It was a good approach and we'll be retaining it here.
The tools you'll need for this work, as explained in last week's post, are a notebook and a pen, along with patience and privacy. One piece of advice: read the whole lesson from start to finish at least twice before you begin the work. It was quite common for people back in the day to read only part of the lesson, misunderstand it, and either get the instructions scrambled or fly off the handle completely. We are dealing with emotionally difficult issues here, and it's worth taking the time to be sure you understand the instructions.
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Preliminary Lesson One—The Law of Blame
When we blame others for the things that happen to us, we are mistaken. Most of us don't believe that for a minute. But it is the truth.
Things happen. Some of them are accidents. Some of them are designed by the Divine to help us learn something about ourselves and others. Some of the are actually designed by us to help us learn something we want to learn. Some are caused by people in the grip of pain, wild emotions, drugs, mental problems or psychological disorders. Some are random acts of cruelty and evil.
What's important to our spiritual health is not what happens to us but how we react to what happens. The event that happened did hurt us. Our reactions to that event continue to hurt us every day of our lives. This is the Law of Blame: Carrying the weight of blame causes more harm than the things for which we blame others ever did.
We can't change what happened. We can change our reactions to what happened. We begin to do that through the simple process of understanding why we blame somebody or something else for our pain. We write down a list of what happened and then write down our current understanding of why we blame somebody or something for what happened. We can learn to understand the evil deed they did was not "them" and the evil deed we did was not "us."
The Law of Blame has eight separate and distinct steps, which are part of the work that needs to be done in order to qualify for membership in the Octagon Society. We do not need to master these steps in a perfect manner to become a member. What we need to do is work through these eight steps to the best of our ability at this time. Healing always follows such an effort. Those steps are:
1. List and understand what you blame your father for doing to you.
2. List and understand what you blame your mother for doing to you.
3. List and understand what you blame your child or children, brother or brothers, sister or sisters, nieces, nephews, and cousins for doing to you.
4. List and understand what you blame your aunts, uncles, grandparents, great uncles, great aunts, and all your ancestors for doing to you.
5. List and understand what you blame your spouse, lovers, friends, fellow students and fellow employees for doing to you.
6. List and understand what you blame your enemies and antagonists for doing to you.
7. List and understand what you blame all other persons whatsoever for doing to you.
8. List and understand what you blame yourself, your mind, body, attitudes, beliefs, intentions, health and actions for doing to you.
1. List and understand what you blame your father for doing to you.
For our purposes the term “father” refers to the male person who contributed most to your childhood. This may be your biological father, a stepfather or other male figure. It may include other men or be a combination of several men. If this is the case, you may want to do this task for each of them.
Your father, whether he is currently dead or alive, is a human being complete with the strengths and weaknesses that human beings have. He is a product of his environment and his heredity, of the family and society in which he grew up, and of his own good and bad choices and experiences. He was and still is imperfect and he made and may still be making many mistakes.
Your father may or may not have loved you. He may or may not have done his best for you. He may or may not have meant well. He was and is a human soul in the midst of the give and take of existence, and the way he behaved toward you was part of his own journey through life. His choices and his mistakes were all products of who he was at the time.
Your task is to sit quietly, become comfortable, take a few deep breaths and write down in your notebook everything you remember you blame your father for. List the things he said and did that make you feel that he was or is to blame.
Make certain your list is as complete as it can be for now. This may take you several days. Keep writing as long as thoughts and ideas arise and as long as you're comfortable. Take a break when you need to take a break. The intent of this part of the task is to recall as many details as you can comfortably recall about the things for which you blame your father. Write them all down together with a description of your feelings at the time.
When you’re done, try to understand what mental, emotional, psychological or spiritual forces caused him to act in this way. At this stage you’re not called upon to forgive or even to accept what happened, just to make an effort to understand it. You don’t even have to let go of the blame. Be aware of it, and try to understand what caused the events for which you blame your father. When you have gotten as far with this as you can, go to step two.
2. List and understand what you blame your mother for doing to you.
For our purposes the term "mother" refers to the woman who contributed most to your childhood. This may be your biological mother, a stepmother or other female figure. It may include other women or be a combination of several women. If this is the case, you may want to do this task for each of them.
Your mother, whether she is currently dead or alive, is a human being complete with strengths and weaknesses. She is a product of her environment and her heredity, of the family and society in which she grew up, and of her own good and bad choices and experiences. She was and still is imperfect and she made and may still be making many mistakes.
Your mother may or may not have loved you. She may or may not have done her best for you. She may or may not have meant well. She was and is a human soul in the midst of the give and take of existence, and the way she behaved toward you was part of her own journey through life. Her choices and her mistakes were all products of who she was at the time.
Your task is to sit quietly, become comfortable, take a few deep breaths, and write down in your notebook everything you remember you blame your mother for. List the things she said and did that make you feel that she was or is to blame.
Make certain your list is as complete as it can be for now. This may take you several days. Keep writing as long as thoughts and ideas arise and as long as you're comfortable. Take a break when you need to take a break. The intent of this part of the task is to recall as many details as you can comfortably recall about the things for which you blame your mother. Write them all down together with a description of your feelings at the time.
When you’re done, try to understand what mental, emotional, psychological or spiritual forces caused her to act in this way. At this stage you’re not called upon to forgive or even to accept what happened, just to make an effort to understand it. You don’t even have to let go of the blame. Be aware of it, and try to understand what caused the events for which you blame your mother. When you have gotten as far with this as you can, go to step three.
3. List and understand what you blame your children, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, and cousins for doing to you.
Use the same technique you used for your mother and father and consider as many of these people as possible. Write down everything for which you blame them, in as much detail as seems helpful, and then try to understand what caused those things. When finished, go to step four.
4. List and understand what you blame your aunts, uncles, grandparents, great uncles, great aunts, and all your other ancestors for doing to you.
Use the same technique you used for your mother and father and consider as many of these people as possible. Write down everything for which you blame them, in as much detail as seems helpful, and then try to understand what caused those things. When finished, go to step five.
5. List and understand what you blame your spouse, lovers, friends, fellow students and fellow employees for doing to you.
Use the same technique you used for your mother and father and consider as many of these people as possible. Write down everything for which you blame them, in as much detail as seems helpful, and then try to understand what caused those things. When finished, go to step six.
6: List and understand what you blame your enemies and antagonists for doing to you.
Use the same technique you used for your mother and father and consider as many of these people as possible. Write down everything for which you blame them, in as much detail as seems helpful, and then try to understand what caused those things. When finished, go to step seven.
7. List and understand what you blame all other persons whatsoever for doing to you.
Use the same technique you used for your mother and father and consider as many of these people as possible. Write down everything for which you blame them, in as much detail as seems helpful, and then try to understand what caused those things. When finished, go to step eight.
8. List and understand what you blame yourself, your mind, body, attitudes, beliefs, intentions, health and actions for doing to you.
We’ve intentionally saved the most difficult task for last. By the time you reach this stage you know what to do. Do it, and work through all the reasons you blame yourself.
You are, after all, a human being complete with strengths and weaknesses. You are a product of your environment and your heredity, of the family and society in which you grew up, and of your own good and bad choices and experiences. You were and still are imperfect and you have made and may still be making many mistakes.
In the events you are recalling, you may or may not have acted out of love. You may or may not have done your best. You may or may not have meant well. You were and are a human soul in the midst of the give and take of existence, and the way you behaved was part of your journey through life. Your choices and your mistakes were all products of who you were at the time.
When you’re done, try to understand what mental, emotional, psychological or spiritual forces caused you to act in this way. At this stage you’re not called upon to forgive or even to accept what happened, just to make an effort to understand it. You don’t even have to let go of the blame. Be aware of it, and try to understand what caused the events for which you blame yourself. When you have gotten as far with this as you can, you have finished the work of this preliminary lesson.
Having gone through this process for others makes it easier for us to go through it for ourselves. “Easier” is not the same thing as easy! But go through it we must if we really intend to become the person we want to become. Go through it we must if we wish to advance spiritually in this lifetime. Go through it we must to continue our advancement in the Octagon Society. Take at least eight sessions to finish this work, and add as many more as you find helpful. For most people, between one and two weeks is a good amount of time to spend on this stage of the work. There are no prizes for hurrying. Take it a little at a time, step by step, and you’ll accomplish the work that will begin transmuting your life.
*****
That's the first of the three preliminary lessons. Next week we'll go on to the second.
*****
That's the first of the three preliminary lessons. Next week we'll go on to the second.
Why aren't questions like this part of routine psychoanalysis?
Date: 2021-08-07 06:03 pm (UTC)Is it really all about the drug companies making $$$ or is it that my psychiatrist and people in her field are so dumbed down that they refuse to see their patients as humans and not a means to a fat paycheck?
I never once sensed my psychiatrist cared about me as a human being, and other therapists I've had seem the same way. Numb. So I guess I do blame her for being such a mindless, spineless cog in the greed-driven grist mill at a time I desperately needed competent help.
Re: Why aren't questions like this part of routine psychoanalysis?
Date: 2021-08-07 10:27 pm (UTC)The OSA when I was a member asked applicants to pay a modest fee for a lifetime membership, purely to cover the costs of the website and other operating expenses. It wasn't in the business to make a profit.
Re: Why aren't questions like this part of routine psychoanalysis?
Date: 2021-08-08 12:06 am (UTC)And let's not forget the tactic of making new customers by pathologizing everything they can, as a means of social control as well as making money for themselves. My experience, having been dragged into the system unwillingly for being both my dysfunctional family's chosen scapegoat and the weird kid at school who didn't fall into line, so much of psychiatric diagnosis is little more than let's throw shale at the wall and see what we can make stick. You are there before them after all, so you simply must be a problem.
I will have a lot to say about the psychiatric system here, I planned to cover it under enemies and antagonists.
Re: Why aren't questions like this part of routine psychoanalysis?
Date: 2021-08-08 07:46 pm (UTC)I don't think my psychiatrist was deliberately malicious. As it is in the case of most medical professionals these days, it was more of a case of the blind leading the blind. She had a belief system that revolved around mouse-find-cheese, Progress will solve everything, just prescribe the right newfangled drug and it will be fine. This sort of ignorance is its own hell. Her ignorance doesn't excuse her profiteering or her choice of material comfort over true connection to helpful work (I could go on forever about music teachers who don't teach music for the love of teaching music, who actually hate children, do it for the status, etc.) but it does help me free myself of some of the blame I place upon her for not helping despite being paid handsomely to do so by my parents.