I believe I had, or what I think, was an encounter with my Shadow, but it also could have been something else. Prior to Covid, I had the grand exciting plans to move to the country, and as well as working damned hard in agriculture I'd get some sort of spiritual revelation. Of course, in my still youthful naivety I thought that this would be all stars, light, and positivity, despite my years of reading your work and other works.
However, I got my revelation. It was the opposite, a battle of spiritual and intrusive thoughts which had me realise that no, I'm not that good, and as a human, I'm well capable of evil. It shattered me, sent me to bed for a couple of weeks shaking, and although I most certainly did not behave badly, I now realise a lot of what Jung and others have said about the shadow, the dweller, and various other little human demons. Encountering them, and trying to integrate them is harrowing.
I can see why people sometimes can't walk or function after these experiences. I certainly couldn't.
Three years on I'm far wiser, and interestingly, those types of people that would once waste my time or abuse me now don't even try, or have largely left my life.
It's got me thinking that something of the secret of the Great Arcanum, that 'terrible' secret is in it, it seems to be when humans have to move beyond the binary of morality, and that's terrifying? Am I on the right track here with this thinking?
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branchandroot
Encounter with the shadow, or something else?
Date: 2023-06-19 05:29 am (UTC)However, I got my revelation. It was the opposite, a battle of spiritual and intrusive thoughts which had me realise that no, I'm not that good, and as a human, I'm well capable of evil. It shattered me, sent me to bed for a couple of weeks shaking, and although I most certainly did not behave badly, I now realise a lot of what Jung and others have said about the shadow, the dweller, and various other little human demons. Encountering them, and trying to integrate them is harrowing.
I can see why people sometimes can't walk or function after these experiences. I certainly couldn't.
Three years on I'm far wiser, and interestingly, those types of people that would once waste my time or abuse me now don't even try, or have largely left my life.
It's got me thinking that something of the secret of the Great Arcanum, that 'terrible' secret is in it, it seems to be when humans have to move beyond the binary of morality, and that's terrifying? Am I on the right track here with this thinking?