Thanks for condensing The Last Psychiatrist's musings about narcissism. So narcissists feel they are "faking it" and get angry when you challenge their identity.
This provides an interesting perspective on my experience as a software engineer. People who try to herd software engineers (like project leaders, scrum masters or middle management) get angry when you question their development skills. When they ask for an estimate, they treat your answer as an arbitrary fake, and adjust it to fit their needs. When deadlines pass, people have to work weekends, even if this doesn't help progress at all.
Perhaps they are not only faking it, but believe that everyone else must be faking it too. So they do not feel anger when deadlines pass, but do feel anger when people question the deadline itself. The mental energy they spend on identity maintenance must be enormous. This could explain the burnout and turnover rates.
Your suggestion "who might I be hurting, and what can I do to stop?" may be useful for introverts as well as for narcissists. This is a good area for me to work on for the coming week!
A peaceful Easter Monday to everyone, and I hope the rumors about peace coming to Yemen turn out to be true.
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branchandroot
Re: Post on Narcissism and MOE Tree of Life Visualizations
Date: 2023-04-10 10:22 am (UTC)Thanks for condensing The Last Psychiatrist's musings about narcissism. So narcissists feel they are "faking it" and get angry when you challenge their identity.
This provides an interesting perspective on my experience as a software engineer. People who try to herd software engineers (like project leaders, scrum masters or middle management) get angry when you question their development skills. When they ask for an estimate, they treat your answer as an arbitrary fake, and adjust it to fit their needs. When deadlines pass, people have to work weekends, even if this doesn't help progress at all.
Perhaps they are not only faking it, but believe that everyone else must be faking it too. So they do not feel anger when deadlines pass, but do feel anger when people question the deadline itself. The mental energy they spend on identity maintenance must be enormous. This could explain the burnout and turnover rates.
Your suggestion "who might I be hurting, and what can I do to stop?" may be useful for introverts as well as for narcissists. This is a good area for me to work on for the coming week!
A peaceful Easter Monday to everyone, and I hope the rumors about peace coming to Yemen turn out to be true.