Last Friday I completed the self-initiation ritual from "Learning Ritual Magic". It has taken me three years to finish the lessons (it's not that there were any breaks--I spent months on some lessons for no discernible reason). I wanted to share (a slightly edited version of) the course review notes that I made as part of the last lesson. These are in no specific order and may seem almost banal, but I wanted to share them all the same.
This is quite long, and it would be helpful if you could comment on some of these points, however, please feel free not to (or even not publish this, for that matter).
1. I am more awareness of the astral plane and am easily able to 'transit' to it, viz., bring readily to the mind's eye images of both real and imaginary things.
2. I have developed a more nuanced view of good and evil; most of the things we consider evil or bad are relative to our milieu and the set of conventions to which we have been exposed. On the flip side, I have become more 'cruel' and am accepting of things which would have earlier made me react in pity and kindness. The notion of revenge and doing something 'evil' in return to somebody is also stronger in me. I have been practising martial arts for more than seven years now and have reached an above-intermediate level of proficiency - I hope this confidence to handle physical conflicts doesn't have something to do with this (going against all the tenets of the martial arts).
3. I have noticed a significant enhancement of my will - in carrying out things that I would otherwise have put off, pushing my limits, sticking to a regimen of exercise or magical practice, and so on. On the other hand, this has made me more impatient towards those who do not have a strong will, in general those whom I perceive as being weak of mind.
4. My career and aptitude are in the abstract domain (computer science, to be precise), and I enjoy problem-solving and exercising my intellect. I guess I have an affinity to Hod - I prefer to dwell in the intellectual plane (puzzles, logic, reasoning out, understanding, and knowing).
5. The initial exposure to the Tarot cards in the early lessons have awakened in me an interest in and love for things European. I don't know if this is because a past-life connection to Europe. I also have a strong affinity for the Roman empire and Latin - so much so that I have been learning Latin for the last two years.
6. I seem to have acquired a strong streak of nihilism and a feeling of "What is the point of anything?". I don't know if this is related to magical practice or a consequence of growing old and becoming more aware of my own mortality. This is somewhat counter-intuitive to the fundamental magical principle that we are more than this life and the presence of other planes of existence.
7. I have been somewhat lax with the meditation and am still somewhat confused about discursive meditation; meditating on a symbol and its associated concepts and ideas seems not that different from 'associative thinking' where we allow the mind to lead us on a chain of thoughts and concentrate on what each thought means and implies.
8. Tarot divination has been pretty hit-or-miss for me. Though I feel a strong affinity towards the cards, I am not able to grasp what they are trying to say to me, or map the happenings in a day to the card I drew.
9. I am beginning to incorporate Tiphareth into my martial arts practice. It is early days yet, but I think I am able to bring out the so-called 'high feel' in each movement that my master talks about.
10. I have become more assertive and dominating/controlling of situations. There has also been an increase in my clarity of thought and analytical ability, with 'magical' intuition coming into play additionally.
11. When I am about to fall asleep or sitting/lying quietly with my eyes closed, unbidden/unrelated images sometimes pop up. These do not relate to any situation (past, present or future) and seem random.
12. I am more aware of patterns of synchronicity in my life.
13. I am a practising Hindu, but I have developed an affinity to other religions/philosophies, specifically Hermeticism and Christianity. I feel a powerful bond of love towards Christ and his suffering on the cross.
14. Affinity for history, old things, permanance (probably an artifact of growing older).
15. I am an introvert by nature. I feel that this trait has become more pronounced - I try to avoid crowds, even conversation with people if I can.
16. I think have developed more insights into people's motives, and read them better. In general, I pay more attention and notice information flows and cues where I wouldn't have caught them before.
17. I am quicker to anger and to take offence.
18. I have become more aggressive in my driving. I live in India where the traffic is, metaphorically speaking, 'eat or be eaten', and my earlier style of polite, safe driving used to get me a lot of stick from other (impatient) drivers. Now I give back as good as I get (though not compromising on safety, of course).
19. One worrying aspect is the reduction in my belief that all humans are equal. While I believe in treating everyone fairly, realism in terms of people's capabilities, potential, etc. has crept in. I also think the knowledge of things like karma is also a factor in this outlook.
20. There has also been a gradual shift to a right-wing ideology - I am drawn more to tradition, proven ways of doing things, order, and so on. I have developed an aversion to degeneracy and deviance.
21. I have stopped caring about what people (who don't matter to me) think of me. I still adhere to my own ethical code, of course, but social conventions no longer bind me that strongly.
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branchandroot
Completed the LRM course last week
Date: 2023-03-13 04:30 am (UTC)Thank you for this space.
Last Friday I completed the self-initiation ritual from "Learning Ritual Magic". It has taken me three years to finish the lessons (it's not that there were any breaks--I spent months on some lessons for no discernible reason). I wanted to share (a slightly edited version of) the course review notes that I made as part of the last lesson. These are in no specific order and may seem almost banal, but I wanted to share them all the same.
This is quite long, and it would be helpful if you could comment on some of these points, however, please feel free not to (or even not publish this, for that matter).
1. I am more awareness of the astral plane and am easily able to 'transit' to it, viz., bring readily to the mind's eye images of both real and imaginary things.
2. I have developed a more nuanced view of good and evil; most of the things we consider evil or bad are relative to our milieu and the set of conventions to which we have been exposed. On the flip side, I have become more 'cruel' and am accepting of things which would have earlier made me react in pity and kindness. The notion of revenge and doing something 'evil' in return to somebody is also stronger in me. I have been practising martial arts for more than seven years now and have reached an above-intermediate level of proficiency - I hope this confidence to handle physical conflicts doesn't have something to do with this (going against all the tenets of the martial arts).
3. I have noticed a significant enhancement of my will - in carrying out things that I would otherwise have put off, pushing my limits, sticking to a regimen of exercise or magical practice, and so on. On the other hand, this has made me more impatient towards those who do not have a strong will, in general those whom I perceive as being weak of mind.
4. My career and aptitude are in the abstract domain (computer science, to be precise), and I enjoy problem-solving and exercising my intellect. I guess I have an affinity to Hod - I prefer to dwell in the intellectual plane (puzzles, logic, reasoning out, understanding, and knowing).
5. The initial exposure to the Tarot cards in the early lessons have awakened in me an interest in and love for things European. I don't know if this is because a past-life connection to Europe. I also have a strong affinity for the Roman empire and Latin - so much so that I have been learning Latin for the last two years.
6. I seem to have acquired a strong streak of nihilism and a feeling of "What is the point of anything?". I don't know if this is related to magical practice or a consequence of growing old and becoming more aware of my own mortality. This is somewhat counter-intuitive to the fundamental magical principle that we are more than this life and the presence of other planes of existence.
7. I have been somewhat lax with the meditation and am still somewhat confused about discursive meditation; meditating on a symbol and its associated concepts and ideas seems not that different from 'associative thinking' where we allow the mind to lead us on a chain of thoughts and concentrate on what each thought means and implies.
8. Tarot divination has been pretty hit-or-miss for me. Though I feel a strong affinity towards the cards, I am not able to grasp what they are trying to say to me, or map the happenings in a day to the card I drew.
9. I am beginning to incorporate Tiphareth into my martial arts practice. It is early days yet, but I think I am able to bring out the so-called 'high feel' in each movement that my master talks about.
10. I have become more assertive and dominating/controlling of situations. There has also been an increase in my clarity of thought and analytical ability, with 'magical' intuition coming into play additionally.
11. When I am about to fall asleep or sitting/lying quietly with my eyes closed, unbidden/unrelated images sometimes pop up. These do not relate to any situation (past, present or future) and seem random.
12. I am more aware of patterns of synchronicity in my life.
13. I am a practising Hindu, but I have developed an affinity to other religions/philosophies, specifically Hermeticism and Christianity. I feel a powerful bond of love towards Christ and his suffering on the cross.
14. Affinity for history, old things, permanance (probably an artifact of growing older).
15. I am an introvert by nature. I feel that this trait has become more pronounced - I try to avoid crowds, even conversation with people if I can.
16. I think have developed more insights into people's motives, and read them better. In general, I pay more attention and notice information flows and cues where I wouldn't have caught them before.
17. I am quicker to anger and to take offence.
18. I have become more aggressive in my driving. I live in India where the traffic is, metaphorically speaking, 'eat or be eaten', and my earlier style of polite, safe driving used to get me a lot of stick from other (impatient) drivers. Now I give back as good as I get (though not compromising on safety, of course).
19. One worrying aspect is the reduction in my belief that all humans are equal. While I believe in treating everyone fairly, realism in terms of people's capabilities, potential, etc. has crept in. I also think the knowledge of things like karma is also a factor in this outlook.
20. There has also been a gradual shift to a right-wing ideology - I am drawn more to tradition, proven ways of doing things, order, and so on. I have developed an aversion to degeneracy and deviance.
21. I have stopped caring about what people (who don't matter to me) think of me. I still adhere to my own ethical code, of course, but social conventions no longer bind me that strongly.
Best regards.