I’ve seen some of your answers in previous weeks on questions of connections formed by sexual contact, and recently I’ve had cause to wonder about something of my own. Forgive me if I am mistaking a particularly intense but particularly mundane experience but in the moment, it felt like something much more than that.
There is a man I’ve been friends with since I was twenty years old. We’ve never lived closer than a solid 6-8 hours apart, and though most of our contact is electronic, we do know each other in person. We’ve never dated, but were attracted to each other, though he was a huge flirt, I never thought too much of it, though I would say that despite being mostly online for the distance, we did build up a strong emotional closeness to the extent that there did reach a point where I may have considered a relationship with him, but it just was not a good time in either of our lives, I think both of us knew that and the subject was never directly broached.
At a point where we had known each other for two or three years, there was a night that we both happened to be in the same city at the same time, and ended upstanding that night together. Though both of us did in fact want to have sex, and there was definitely sexual contact, it didn’t progress to the point of intercourse. There was no ill effect on our friendship, and everything carried on as it was for a few more years until we lost contact for a bit because life circumstances
This was over twenty years ago now, and we’ve lost and regained contact a few times, though never quite to the original extent. Until In the most recent time that we reconnected out of the blue, conversation turned, very quickly, towards what I had known with him in the first several years- an emotional closeness and familiarity far more intimate than two hours of conversation should have after only occasionally saying hello and exchanging pleasantries for several years now, and by the end of the conversation it came clear that we both still felt quite the attraction for each other, and that it seemed to have a much more emotional hold on us than either realized. A very short time after we reconnected I was offered a new job with a choice of a few locations, one of which was in the same metropolitan area as he is living, a thousand miles from where I am, and with a higher salary than the other options as the company is trying to build up its presence there.
I chose a different location. Where he is is a part of the country that I have no interest in moving to. I would be very hesitant to move to a place where I had no desire to be even for an existing serious relationship, never mind something like this.
Very quickly the emotional closeness turned sexually explicit- very explicit, far more than the innuendo-littered flirting that was woven into our friendship of years ago, and only a few weeks after reconnection, one night found us in bed “together” at a distance. I recall feeling half delirious as we detailed moment by moment what would happen were we in physical proximity for it to be possible, and thinking i must be crazy that I could very tangibly feel him….feel him in me, but he said much the same thing, using the same words and phrasing that were going through my mind in the moment.
It was unquestionably more intense than any sexual experience I’ve had with another person right there in bed with me.
I’ve certainly had some vivid fantasies, and I’m no stranger to sexting but this just really seemed to go far beyond that and since reading some of your answers to others questions, I started to wonder if such a connection could have been formed back then in that one night, if there might not be some magical/metahysical element there, I’d be interested in your take on this.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2022-07-18 09:20 pm (UTC)There is a man I’ve been friends with since I was twenty years old. We’ve never lived closer than a solid 6-8 hours apart, and though most of our contact is electronic, we do know each other in person. We’ve never dated, but were attracted to each other, though he was a huge flirt, I never thought too much of it, though I would say that despite being mostly online for the distance, we did build up a strong emotional closeness to the extent that there did reach a point where I may have considered a relationship with him, but it just was not a good time in either of our lives, I think both of us knew that and the subject was never directly broached.
At a point where we had known each other for two or three years, there was a night that we both happened to be in the same city at the same time, and ended upstanding that night together. Though both of us did in fact want to have sex, and there was definitely sexual contact, it didn’t progress to the point of intercourse. There was no ill effect on our friendship, and everything carried on as it was for a few more years until we lost contact for a bit because life circumstances
This was over twenty years ago now, and we’ve lost and regained contact a few times, though never quite to the original extent. Until In the most recent time that we reconnected out of the blue, conversation turned, very quickly, towards what I had known with him in the first several years- an emotional closeness and familiarity far more intimate than two hours of conversation should have after only occasionally saying hello and exchanging pleasantries for several years now, and by the end of the conversation it came clear that we both still felt quite the attraction for each other, and that it seemed to have a much more emotional hold on us than either realized. A very short time after we reconnected I was offered a new job with a choice of a few locations, one of which was in the same metropolitan area as he is living, a thousand miles from where I am, and with a higher salary than the other options as the company is trying to build up its presence there.
I chose a different location. Where he is is a part of the country that I have no interest in moving to. I would be very hesitant to move to a place where I had no desire to be even for an existing serious relationship, never mind something like this.
Very quickly the emotional closeness turned sexually explicit- very explicit, far more than the innuendo-littered flirting that was woven into our friendship of years ago, and only a few weeks after reconnection, one night found us in bed “together” at a distance. I recall feeling half delirious as we detailed moment by moment what would happen were we in physical proximity for it to be possible, and thinking i must be crazy that I could very tangibly feel him….feel him in me, but he said much the same thing, using the same words and phrasing that were going through my mind in the moment.
It was unquestionably more intense than any sexual experience I’ve had with another person right there in bed with me.
I’ve certainly had some vivid fantasies, and I’m no stranger to sexting but this just really seemed to go far beyond that and since reading some of your answers to others questions, I started to wonder if such a connection could have been formed back then in that one night, if there might not be some magical/metahysical element there, I’d be interested in your take on this.