How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Presbyterian: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Mormons: Six. Five wives to replace the bulb while husband reviews church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?
More seriously, there's the miracle of the lamp oil in the Temple in Jerusalem in the tine of the Macabeans, which probably provided inspiration to magicians trying to create an everburning lamp.
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branchandroot
Re: Let There Be Light!
Date: 2020-10-05 05:09 am (UTC)How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Presbyterian: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the
drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Mormons: Six. Five wives to replace the bulb while husband reviews church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?
More seriously, there's the miracle of the lamp oil in the Temple in Jerusalem in the tine of the Macabeans, which probably provided inspiration to magicians trying to create an everburning lamp.
BoysMom