ecosophia | Open (More or Less) Post on Covid 156

This post concludes the third year of these open posts. As the phrase "died suddenly" repeats in the mass media like a mantra, statistics for work days lost to illness and all-cause mortality mount up in heavily vaccinated nations, and more and more ugly facts about the official response to Covid spill out into public, we are entering what may well turn out to be the most difficult period of the Covid disaster -- the phase in which denial rises in lockstep with the death rate, and a great many people try not to admit what has been done to them by the people and institutions they trusted. It could get ugly, folks.

So it's time for another open post. The rules are the same as before:

1. If you plan on parroting the party line of the medical industry and its paid shills, please go away. This is a place for people to talk openly, honestly, and freely about their concerns that the party line in question is dangerously flawed and that actions being pushed by the medical industry et al. are causing injury and death. It is not a place for you to dismiss those concerns. Anyone who wants to hear the official story and the arguments in favor of it can find those on hundreds of thousands of websites.

2. If you plan on insisting that the current situation is the result of a deliberate plot by some villainous group of people or other, please go away. There are tens of thousands of websites currently rehashing various conspiracy theories about the Covid-19 outbreak and the vaccines. This is not one of them. What we're exploring is the likelihood that what's going on is the product of the same arrogance, incompetence, and corruption that the medical industry and its tame politicians have displayed so abundantly in recent decades. That possibility deserves a space of its own for discussion, and that's what we're doing here.

3. If you plan on using rent-a-troll derailing or disruption tactics, please go away. I'm quite familiar with the standard tactics used by troll farms to disrupt online forums, and am ready, willing, and able -- and in fact quite eager -- to ban people permanently for engaging in them here. Oh, and I also lurk on other Covid-19 vaccine skeptic blogs, so I'm likely to notice when the same posts are showing up on more than one venue.

4. If you don't believe in treating people with common courtesy, please go away. I have, and enforce, a strict courtesy policy on my blogs and online forums, and this is no exception. The sort of schoolyard bullying that takes place on so many other internet forums will get you deleted and banned here. Also, please don't drag in current quarrels about sex, race, religions, etc. No, I don't care if you disagree with that: my journal, my rules.

With that said, the floor is open for discussion.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

so yesterday i was against the wall and didn't even know we'd had a mandatory settlement hearing at court until two days before and trial set for 5 august, and i settled because i had absolutely no limbs to stand on... i was NOT the pretty one in the room.

so i settled and i'm here until want to leave. only thing is i'm on 2 years probation if simone gets me to fail at this restraining order i'm out. but i've got my lawyer so i took it. they wouldn't truly entertain a buy-out. i didn't understand why.

i was read to leave Mordor... oh was i! but san francisco is not done with me, yet.

i'm going to try and get out of here for a couple of months, though.

i'm surrounded by monsters whores murderers and liars here. even my old friend i haven't seen in a decade came down from santa rosa and said what Temporary Reality did: "this isn't the city you remember. get out now. it's BAD." they can feel it. everyone can.

i'm economically trapped but am trying to plan a vision on getting out of here on my own as i heal my heart my mind soul and knee.

i don't know why they wouldn't do a buy out. my lawyer wasn't asking for much and i hated that. but she's logical and did a survey of buyouts nearby, and i had no leverage as i was on the hook for being evicted.

all the evidence i had was throw-out-able she told me. each court works differently on how evidence is determined.

i'm glad that i don't HAVE to move in a hurry because after 30 years there's a lot of stuff between James and me, but i don't get why all this trauma only to end up where i started only WORSE because James had to suffer as he died and i got a brutal thrashing from which i will never recover.

(i am terrified of answering the door casually for fear of the cops being called for no reason, or i might get suddenly served for something i didn't know i'd done)

i write all this here in open covid post because it's related to covid because that cracked my world view to bits and it IS devouring mother, left brain/right brain, it is herd thinking gone awry, it is dying hippocampii, it's ALL that...

but THEN WHAT???

that's what my job is. we each have our corner to man or woman, and mine is to put my naked bare hand in first and see if a bloody stump comes back or if i should push down deep and further on.

YOU HAVE TO HAVE BEEN ABUSED TO HANDLE THESE PAST 4 MONTHS I'VE BEEN THROUGH, on top of James' 8 mos of insta-cancer.

so i'm calling on The Abused to channel their talents and abilities so that the rest of us can learn how to elaborate on the basics we've learned. (Christophe's already doing this)

you'll talk like you're channeling as he is. i can read him tapping into that higher knowledge and voice that keeps us going in the bleakest of times.

i used to do that. i'd be astounded and surprised at what'd come out of my own mind but now i'm lost shocked confused oblivious and bleary-eyed. only thing that keeps me on the straight away is multiple numbers appearing here and at home as well as my coven, and the PRAYERS here (thank you, Quinn/tunesmyth), and Kimberly's Ogham reading when i couldn't even FEEL my way.

i am addicted to blowing things up when i'm confused and i had to CHILL.

i still don't know WHY or HOW they'd let me stay. it's almost like they'd changed their mind. i asked for a buy out offer and they did two of the three parts and left out the amount and they never made a full counter offer so pressed by my lawyer i asked for the "stay here" one because i cannot be rushed. i feel vulnerable with a hurt knee.

thank you each here. i wouldn't have been able to avoid more jail time if it weren't for this place, Papa's work, and the wonderful people i've met here who're just emanating The Light all over the place.

xxxxxx...

erika

Don't feel weak that you took the offer to stay.
Out of 1000s of results that I could have imagined, staying put is #2. #1 would have been a fantastic buyout, and everything after #2 is bad to worse. Now you are in complete control on the date you leave Mordor without looking back, no salt pillars please.

Pretend this is like you heard whispers you were going to get a pink slip and started panic networking and looking for a new gig...in the back of your mind thinking you couldn't afford your place and would have to beg friends/family for a couch for 6mo while you get back on your feet.

Now you have 1-N months to plan, prepare, and act on this. Needle in the haystack.

Its like the old story of the man condemned to die, and he made a deal with King. Oh but spare me 1 year and I will teach your horse to sing. You now have time you didn't think you had before. A lot can happen in the time before you. The backstabbing neighbor could move, could die, you could die, and hell, you just might teach that horse to sing!

peace and prayers your way,
rq

Don't feel weak that you took the offer to stay.

WOW, rq, that's amazing that you'd picked up on my immense SHAME because i had to re-read as i didn't think i'd been open about my shame here. but yes! you picked up on it because it's immense for me: i feel like a warrior dying not on his feet, but in a hospital all plugged in with lots of numbing drugs. (smile)

i've been sobbing all day and depressed about my need to "take it." the thing that got me is that if i lost, which could've been likely even if i had a sympathetic jury, they might be directed to rule on a narrow list of perimeters and i could be forced to move within TWO WEEKS. maybe three if i was lucky.

it'd take me years to come back from that kind of set back, if i could come back at all. i'm pretty burnt out. it's like running a marathon on your own bloody stumps and being told you've got ten feet but it's ten hundred MILES left. i'm shocked i've taken as much as i have when so little rocks these folks' worlds, but i'm also very much still affected by it. i'm not free.

(yet.)

i believe i will be free and even forget their names one day because that's where i try to get to.

but shame... yes... you felt it. i was all sewn up. see, this stuff that happened to Trump isn't an anomaly. their rules change depending on who they pick and who called in as victim first. then you're in your rigid villain role. you men know this. who am i telling? but the rules seem rigid but are slanted towards the type of people who see and think their way.

we don't have a shot unless we coddle our victimhood and groom it into a bitter monster.

there's a code and i can't code switch "bougie colored girl." it's a weird mixture of humility but it's pretentious because you're winking that you're EQUAL. colored women do it with each other. it's the damndest thing. it's not as subtle as other code switching. you have to slant how you proudly say "your honor" and so many of the judges are women.

it's all emotions. with everyone. men/women included. they're run by their emotions even though they pretend to speak logically. and there's a definite hierarchy but you know you could be there, too. it's "All About Eve" in Hollytown but in gov't and academic jobs.

you're right i can plan and i AM. that was funny about turning into a pillar of salt.

and yes, it is like a stay of execution, because surviving out there on market rent not knowing what to do... EEEK!

but i also feel FREE. free to LEAVE... when i want. i like that i can take off and leave everything behind as long as i pay the rent.

---

and yes... a lot CAN happen while i'm teaching the horse to sing. that's perfect. i love fairy tales and found an old Kay Neilsen book of his art that got ruined in the garage and i ripped all the art aside and am looking at it like a newspaper with all the facts telling me what to do. i grew up on Kay Neilsen's art in those old Norse Faery Tales where the mothers are still eating their children to clear way for a new husband.

but yeah. the SHAME. i was ready to self immolate and get the kitties somewhere safe. thanks for saying i didn't punk out when i didn't even know to ask that of anyone.

x

erika

Hi erika

I have found having a project to work on can help take your mind off the difficulties that i am facing.

I have been thinking about asking you this for a while.

I would like to commission you to make something beautiful for James.

If this sounds like something you would like to do send me an email

heameach at the google mail service ( you know which one i mean)

oooh! adventure! i'll bite. i'll write now...

x

erika

Open (More or Less) Post on Covid 156

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