I'm sorry to hear about your loss and the difficult circumstances. People who lived through their partner dying told me it was like a part of themselves died. I think grief has its own rythm that is very personal so there is no baselinf for the duration or intensity. The most important thing imo is to have compassion for yourself and let the process unfold.

When I experience a difficult emotion I remind myself that it just wants to be felt. In our society we are encouraged to do anything but actually feel and I know I developed a zillion ways to avoid just that. There are many ways to facilitate making space for 'just' feeling what wants to be felt but I found the instructions of Louise Kay particularly helpful. She has her own youtube channel with many video's with specific examples and meditations, for example https://youtu.be/2OQKn5M1ihU

I also find that sharing with a friend can be very helpful. It must be someone who will simply be present and listen, not giving me advice or trying to cheer me up. Unfortunately there are very little people who can do that as it requires the ability to stay with the difficult emotions involved. Society encourages us to 'fix' things or distract ourselves (entertainment industry!) instead of simply letting it be true.

I hope this is of any help. All the best!