so yesterday i was against the wall and didn't even know we'd had a mandatory settlement hearing at court until two days before and trial set for 5 august, and i settled because i had absolutely no limbs to stand on... i was NOT the pretty one in the room.
so i settled and i'm here until want to leave. only thing is i'm on 2 years probation if simone gets me to fail at this restraining order i'm out. but i've got my lawyer so i took it. they wouldn't truly entertain a buy-out. i didn't understand why.
i was read to leave Mordor... oh was i! but san francisco is not done with me, yet.
i'm going to try and get out of here for a couple of months, though.
i'm surrounded by monsters whores murderers and liars here. even my old friend i haven't seen in a decade came down from santa rosa and said what Temporary Reality did: "this isn't the city you remember. get out now. it's BAD." they can feel it. everyone can.
i'm economically trapped but am trying to plan a vision on getting out of here on my own as i heal my heart my mind soul and knee.
i don't know why they wouldn't do a buy out. my lawyer wasn't asking for much and i hated that. but she's logical and did a survey of buyouts nearby, and i had no leverage as i was on the hook for being evicted.
all the evidence i had was throw-out-able she told me. each court works differently on how evidence is determined.
i'm glad that i don't HAVE to move in a hurry because after 30 years there's a lot of stuff between James and me, but i don't get why all this trauma only to end up where i started only WORSE because James had to suffer as he died and i got a brutal thrashing from which i will never recover.
(i am terrified of answering the door casually for fear of the cops being called for no reason, or i might get suddenly served for something i didn't know i'd done)
i write all this here in open covid post because it's related to covid because that cracked my world view to bits and it IS devouring mother, left brain/right brain, it is herd thinking gone awry, it is dying hippocampii, it's ALL that...
but THEN WHAT???
that's what my job is. we each have our corner to man or woman, and mine is to put my naked bare hand in first and see if a bloody stump comes back or if i should push down deep and further on.
YOU HAVE TO HAVE BEEN ABUSED TO HANDLE THESE PAST 4 MONTHS I'VE BEEN THROUGH, on top of James' 8 mos of insta-cancer.
so i'm calling on The Abused to channel their talents and abilities so that the rest of us can learn how to elaborate on the basics we've learned. (Christophe's already doing this)
you'll talk like you're channeling as he is. i can read him tapping into that higher knowledge and voice that keeps us going in the bleakest of times.
i used to do that. i'd be astounded and surprised at what'd come out of my own mind but now i'm lost shocked confused oblivious and bleary-eyed. only thing that keeps me on the straight away is multiple numbers appearing here and at home as well as my coven, and the PRAYERS here (thank you, Quinn/tunesmyth), and Kimberly's Ogham reading when i couldn't even FEEL my way.
i am addicted to blowing things up when i'm confused and i had to CHILL.
i still don't know WHY or HOW they'd let me stay. it's almost like they'd changed their mind. i asked for a buy out offer and they did two of the three parts and left out the amount and they never made a full counter offer so pressed by my lawyer i asked for the "stay here" one because i cannot be rushed. i feel vulnerable with a hurt knee.
thank you each here. i wouldn't have been able to avoid more jail time if it weren't for this place, Papa's work, and the wonderful people i've met here who're just emanating The Light all over the place.
erika update
so i settled and i'm here until want to leave. only thing is i'm on 2 years probation if simone gets me to fail at this restraining order i'm out. but i've got my lawyer so i took it. they wouldn't truly entertain a buy-out. i didn't understand why.
i was read to leave Mordor... oh was i! but san francisco is not done with me, yet.
i'm going to try and get out of here for a couple of months, though.
i'm surrounded by monsters whores murderers and liars here. even my old friend i haven't seen in a decade came down from santa rosa and said what Temporary Reality did: "this isn't the city you remember. get out now. it's BAD." they can feel it. everyone can.
i'm economically trapped but am trying to plan a vision on getting out of here on my own as i heal my heart my mind soul and knee.
i don't know why they wouldn't do a buy out. my lawyer wasn't asking for much and i hated that. but she's logical and did a survey of buyouts nearby, and i had no leverage as i was on the hook for being evicted.
all the evidence i had was throw-out-able she told me. each court works differently on how evidence is determined.
i'm glad that i don't HAVE to move in a hurry because after 30 years there's a lot of stuff between James and me, but i don't get why all this trauma only to end up where i started only WORSE because James had to suffer as he died and i got a brutal thrashing from which i will never recover.
(i am terrified of answering the door casually for fear of the cops being called for no reason, or i might get suddenly served for something i didn't know i'd done)
i write all this here in open covid post because it's related to covid because that cracked my world view to bits and it IS devouring mother, left brain/right brain, it is herd thinking gone awry, it is dying hippocampii, it's ALL that...
but THEN WHAT???
that's what my job is. we each have our corner to man or woman, and mine is to put my naked bare hand in first and see if a bloody stump comes back or if i should push down deep and further on.
YOU HAVE TO HAVE BEEN ABUSED TO HANDLE THESE PAST 4 MONTHS I'VE BEEN THROUGH, on top of James' 8 mos of insta-cancer.
so i'm calling on The Abused to channel their talents and abilities so that the rest of us can learn how to elaborate on the basics we've learned. (Christophe's already doing this)
you'll talk like you're channeling as he is. i can read him tapping into that higher knowledge and voice that keeps us going in the bleakest of times.
i used to do that. i'd be astounded and surprised at what'd come out of my own mind but now i'm lost shocked confused oblivious and bleary-eyed. only thing that keeps me on the straight away is multiple numbers appearing here and at home as well as my coven, and the PRAYERS here (thank you, Quinn/tunesmyth), and Kimberly's Ogham reading when i couldn't even FEEL my way.
i am addicted to blowing things up when i'm confused and i had to CHILL.
i still don't know WHY or HOW they'd let me stay. it's almost like they'd changed their mind. i asked for a buy out offer and they did two of the three parts and left out the amount and they never made a full counter offer so pressed by my lawyer i asked for the "stay here" one because i cannot be rushed. i feel vulnerable with a hurt knee.
thank you each here. i wouldn't have been able to avoid more jail time if it weren't for this place, Papa's work, and the wonderful people i've met here who're just emanating The Light all over the place.
xxxxxx...
erika