(i was getting lost back there in the thread so i'm starting a new one here)
this offer they can't refuse is actually the offer they WILL LIKELY REFUSE.
particularly when i'm cornered and can't play the game by Normal People's Rules, then the only tactic i have is to go TRUE and i use my dramatic emotions and seeming crazy personality to throw people off. meaning i'm more ME and play less games.
BEING REAL IS A TACTIC.
go figure. they don't expect it. sometimes i do the "ask for high price so they can have fun negotiating." other times i figure out my line, my price, and i say it. this one is the math one funny writer lawyer guy told me when he ran the numbers conservatively: "i'd ask for $150k with the rent differential and how much his property will go up with you gone. i'd call dave wasserman and ask, 'how much is it worth to have this woman gone?'"
and then i was good. because that's how i'd negotiate my own book deals for myself. i did better than with an agent because i knew my LINE. and then the editors i'd work with in the early days, they'd hardly dicker. if they did, we'd trade for copies of extra books (pallets worth in some cases!) so i'd have stock on my own book tours in theatres and other places besides the bookstores.
so i'm letting "the other side" know how crazy i am or how much i value myself and either way it'll cost them more money or TIME. this is the very opposite of the hackneyed trope "whoever says the number first, loses." nah. go high and STAY THERE if you're willing to walk away.
which i am. it's a coin toss and dramatic and not for the feint of heart. i get off on high stakes negotiations. this is another way to channel one's sadmomasochism because it can give you a stomach ache especially when you're cornered.
my one neighbor, Hector, he gets this cornered coming out blazing thing i'm doing. i laughed because he said, "you've got nothing to lose so go all out and blow their minds."
so that's what i'm doing. it's also a girl trick. i'd never "court" men. i'd test them to discard the riff raff and go true and real and look 'em deep in the eyes and be real and if they're shaky, they're fluff. if he smiles and settles in and sees me as a person and not a conquest, he's solid and can handle hisself.
women are taught to do the opposite: giggle and court and be sweet and likable but be a bitch later after you've had sex and feel trashy which only makes us so much bitchier.
so my play/tactic is a different "female" approach.
and the advantage is only in their surprise and they are taken aback by the straightforwardness and will get flustered OR appreciate it because it's easier just to be straight. why not? successful negotiations only last when BOTH parties feel good about what they're getting. there's no surprises later because you behaved to get the deal only to resent them later over terms or percentages of profits.
you'll nix a lot of deals but i've had folks in hollywood thank me for sussing out wastes of time regarding our little indie film deals.
look at me now?
nah. i don't think i'm done and think i'm still relevant because i see SOME a FEW people's reactions to me even here in mordor.
so even as i'm terrified and don't know where or how i'll land, when i'm in THIS empowered, albeit scared, place, RQ earlier was right: i'll land okay.
but the thing is i can't give in for safety or ease or settle for anything inferior like we're taught. i have to be willing to go "tits out." that's where the requisite sadomasochism needs to be channeled because you have to know which nausea is existential around evil (like with my neighbor and the justice system that gives restraining orders to the drunk lady who threatened to throw a table at the guy without legs in the wheelchair), and the nausea which is terror for derring do and...CHANGE.
leos really are "fixed" signs. man... i'm concrete.
i don't want the money.
i want my apartment and the freedom to leave when i'm ready.
when i'm scared and safe, i end up face down floating in rancid mediocrity.
so as scared as i am right now, being cornered and fighting BACK hard but TRUE is giving me energy because i know some see i'm True and it matters to them.
to Milkyway and Christophe:
(i was getting lost back there in the thread so i'm starting a new one here)
this offer they can't refuse is actually the offer they WILL LIKELY REFUSE.
particularly when i'm cornered and can't play the game by Normal People's Rules, then the only tactic i have is to go TRUE and i use my dramatic emotions and seeming crazy personality to throw people off. meaning i'm more ME and play less games.
BEING REAL IS A TACTIC.
go figure. they don't expect it. sometimes i do the "ask for high price so they can have fun negotiating." other times i figure out my line, my price, and i say it. this one is the math one funny writer lawyer guy told me when he ran the numbers conservatively: "i'd ask for $150k with the rent differential and how much his property will go up with you gone. i'd call dave wasserman and ask, 'how much is it worth to have this woman gone?'"
and then i was good. because that's how i'd negotiate my own book deals for myself. i did better than with an agent because i knew my LINE. and then the editors i'd work with in the early days, they'd hardly dicker. if they did, we'd trade for copies of extra books (pallets worth in some cases!) so i'd have stock on my own book tours in theatres and other places besides the bookstores.
so i'm letting "the other side" know how crazy i am or how much i value myself and either way it'll cost them more money or TIME. this is the very opposite of the hackneyed trope "whoever says the number first, loses." nah. go high and STAY THERE if you're willing to walk away.
which i am. it's a coin toss and dramatic and not for the feint of heart. i get off on high stakes negotiations. this is another way to channel one's sadmomasochism because it can give you a stomach ache especially when you're cornered.
my one neighbor, Hector, he gets this cornered coming out blazing thing i'm doing. i laughed because he said, "you've got nothing to lose so go all out and blow their minds."
so that's what i'm doing. it's also a girl trick. i'd never "court" men. i'd test them to discard the riff raff and go true and real and look 'em deep in the eyes and be real and if they're shaky, they're fluff. if he smiles and settles in and sees me as a person and not a conquest, he's solid and can handle hisself.
women are taught to do the opposite: giggle and court and be sweet and likable but be a bitch later after you've had sex and feel trashy which only makes us so much bitchier.
so my play/tactic is a different "female" approach.
and the advantage is only in their surprise and they are taken aback by the straightforwardness and will get flustered OR appreciate it because it's easier just to be straight. why not? successful negotiations only last when BOTH parties feel good about what they're getting. there's no surprises later because you behaved to get the deal only to resent them later over terms or percentages of profits.
you'll nix a lot of deals but i've had folks in hollywood thank me for sussing out wastes of time regarding our little indie film deals.
look at me now?
nah. i don't think i'm done and think i'm still relevant because i see SOME a FEW people's reactions to me even here in mordor.
so even as i'm terrified and don't know where or how i'll land, when i'm in THIS empowered, albeit scared, place, RQ earlier was right: i'll land okay.
but the thing is i can't give in for safety or ease or settle for anything inferior like we're taught. i have to be willing to go "tits out." that's where the requisite sadomasochism needs to be channeled because you have to know which nausea is existential around evil (like with my neighbor and the justice system that gives restraining orders to the drunk lady who threatened to throw a table at the guy without legs in the wheelchair), and the nausea which is terror for derring do and...CHANGE.
leos really are "fixed" signs. man... i'm concrete.
i don't want the money.
i want my apartment and the freedom to leave when i'm ready.
when i'm scared and safe, i end up face down floating in rancid mediocrity.
so as scared as i am right now, being cornered and fighting BACK hard but TRUE is giving me energy because i know some see i'm True and it matters to them.
x
erika